All right, already! It's been almost a year now. You'd think it'd be easy to just get back to "normal" and let go of the effects of Her Horribleness. It should be ... shouldn't it?
Maybe. .................................... Well, not necessarily.
The thing is, we're facing an anniversary date this month: the day that Hurricane Rita came through and knocked Southeast Texas silly. Anniversary dates of traumatic events are strange creatures. For some people, they are non-events. For others, the opposite occurs and it is almost as though the experience happened yesterday. And still others find themselves somewhere in the middle.
Her Horribleness displaced thousands of us in so many different ways, and turned many lives upside down. I'm still not home, and maybe that's not a bad thing (although I really want to get back home). For those whose homes have been repaired, it is a bit easier to slip back into "everything's normal" mode and not see the homes and businesses that are still awaiting repair or may never be repaired, not see all of the blue (and brown and black) tarps still covering roofs with gaping holes in them, not be aware of the upheaval in lives that have been permanently changed.
There are still literally thousands of homes in Southeast Texas that haven't been fixed yet. The SETIO repair request list alone is over 1,000 names long. Some for lack of funds. Others just waiting in line for the next available (fill in the repair type needed).
And broken houses are not the only type of displacement people are experiencing. Individual situations have changed significantly for so many, and it can be difficult to adapt to the necessary changes. They are disorienting, especially when one has had to leave a beloved familiar place or move forward without a loved one in one's life.
I've recently experienced what I've decided to call "hurricane days". Earlier this week, I found myself feeling, oh!, I guess stuck is a good word for it. There were things I knew I needed to do, and I could even think of the steps I needed to take to accomplish them, but I couldn't for the life of me manage to get my brain out of park and actually do any of them. It was as though I were disconnected, mind from body.
What a relief it was to pick up a resource on anniversary date reactions and discover that what I was experiencing was not unexpected! Here's what one study had to say: "It takes much longer than a few months to truly begin to make peace with the past and turn to the future. In their study of loss and mourning, Zunin and Zunin (1991) found that the lives of the bereaved may still be strongly affected a year and a half to three years later."
Other things people might be experiencing about now: (a) memories, dreams, thoughts and feelings that are vivid with some possibly seeming as though they happened yesterday; (b) grief, sadness, and regret (In fact, some people may have been so involved with the practicalities of recovery and rebuilding that they may not have had time to grieve themselves); (c) fear, anxiety, and stress may return (How many of us began to feel a bit tense when the early projections for Ernesto put him headed toward us as a pretty strong storm?); (d) avoidance - Oh! It's just another day. (Nothing inherently wrong in that. It's useful to be aware, though, that others may not have the same type of reaction.); and (e) reflection - taking a look at what's happened and incorporating it into our lives.
We all go through this process of incorporating significant, yes - traumatic, change into our lives in different ways. As we walk through the days ahead, perhaps it would be wise to be aware of how those we encounter may have been impacted by this life-changing storm and honor the ways each of us react to this signficant date in our lives.
I know that I'm going to be a bit more aware of what's happening in my own life, and labeling it for others, as necessary. So, if you see me just sitting there, speaking randomly disconnected thoughts, all I ask is that you treat me gently. "Hurricane days" are hell.
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2 comments:
So, there IS a name for this vague anxiety I am feeling? What a relief!
I have "flashbacks" of a sort, all the time, now. I can be driving down a perfectly ordinary street, on an absolutely gorgeous--if maybe a little too humid--summer day, and in my mind's eye I can suddenly see the lowering sky, downed trees,power lines draped everywhere like some obscenely enormous spiderweb, and feel the remnants of the worst wind-storm I have ever experienced. It isn't frightening, really. It's just a vivid, full-body memory.
Perhaps, with time the sensation of being there will fade.
Next time, I plan to evacuate. Besides the horror of actually experiencing the storm, the days and days without electricity were just toooooo much.
Yes, in time, the intensity will lessen. That's been true for me when it comes to other, non-hurricane experiences that have led to anniversary date reactions.
It may not eliminate the "flashbacks", but I hope you'll be able to come to the interfaith commemoration we're planning for 9/24, Shelter from the Storm: A Time for Healing and Wholeness. It's from 4-8pm at Ford Park Pavilion. From 4-6 we'll have clergy and counselors available, a devotional area with labyrinth and prayer wall, and some resource areas.
Then we'll gather for worship at 6pm. We've been through a lot as a community this past year, and are planning to look at where we've been, how far we've come, and how far we have yet to go. Doing it together makes it a bit easier to get through to the other side.
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