Perception vs. Fact

Fact: I'm seriously directionally challenged. North. South. East. West. Yeah, right! Isn't east on your right-hand side, west on your left, north to your front, south to your back? (I know! I know! Don't remind me about sunrise and sunset. It just doesn't work.)

I've only lived in one place where my directional sensibility tended to match fact. In Austin, if I knew where the river and I-35 were, I could orient myself without too much trouble. The directions "felt right".

I've lived in my current house for (more or less) six years. In my mind, south has been out the front door (and, NO! I don't have to be consistent!), north out the back, east has been to the right as I face the door from inside the house (please note prior statement about consistency) and west to the left. It took a great deal of time and many evenings with the sun glaring in my face as it set for me to be cognitively aware that right equals west. It still doesn't "feel right".

I've watched incredible thunderstorms out my back door and wondered how friends were doing in Silsbee and Lumberton, to the north of Beaumont, and then been perplexed when they hadn't the foggiest idea of what I was talking about.

It's only been recently that I've begun to suspect the facts: The back of my house is south, the front of my house is north, right equals west, and left equals east. It does make figuring out the current radar on The Weather Channel a bit more precise.

How'd I begin to make this shift? It happened when weather.com made their "Weather in Motion" app interactive and you could see the weather coming at you based on the neighborhood streets. If you start with the long view where, for example, a storm is coming off from the Gulf of Mexico, and move it in closer and see that it's heading toward your house from Interstate 10 and College, then that makes the storm a phenomenon headed your way from the southwest! AMAZING! Still doesn't "feel right", but it's fact.

I wonder in what other ways I let my perceptions skew the facts. Do I use them to prejudge people and situations? Do I take "fact" and continue to discount it because my "perceptions" contradict them? I certainly hope not, but it's obvious that the potential is there, since north, south, east, and west (and variations thereon) are clearly fact as humanity has established that fact. Sure does open possibilities for reflection, doesn't it?

Healing

Five years ago, not today but close to it, disaster entered my life. While my home was not directly affected by Hurricane Katrina, Katrina was the storm that led the way. As the storm barrelled toward the eastern Gulf Coast, I was preparing for a much needed vacation. My plans were for some time at Mom's, followed by a visit to some friends in Austin. Gasoline prices were heading upward and money was tight, so my goal was simply a break from the ordinary in a fiscally responsible way.

Thousands of people were fleeing westward, and my church members were helping as best they could with the organizations that were helping the evacuees. With so many people flooding into the Beaumont area, it didn't make sense for me to come home and add to the confusion. So I ended up watching in horror as Katrina hit the Gulf Coast, causing massive destruction, and then as the people of New Orleans were in a life and death struggle with the floodwaters from the levee system breach. I aided as best I could from my perch in Houston; however, it could never be enough.

Still stunned by the devastation Katrina left in her wake, a few weeks later, I left on a trip to a meeting in California. From my Sacramento hotel room, I made phone calls to church members, talked with Mom as she debated evacuation and what to do with my two critters she was critter-sitting, and watched helpless and in shock as Hurricane Rita came to shore, ripping through our community and causing more massive destruction.

Upon returning all the way home, I found my house had been visited by one of my friendly backyard trees wanting to get away from the whipping winds. Restoration took almost two years, more because I couldn't get contractors to bid on the work than because the damage was that severe or that the insurance company wasn't supportive.

From the point when Her Horribleness (Rita) came ashore, one of the characteristics of PTSD has been prominent in my life: during hurricane season, I've been hypervigilant about tropical waves, tropical depressions, tropical ANYTHING, and have found myself constantly checking the National Hurricane Center website and the Tropical Update on The Weather Channel during every waking hour.

That is, until this year. Don't get me wrong. I still check the National Hurricane Center daily. I still watch the Tropical Update on The Weather Channel. However, if I miss one, I don't get antsy. If there is something to report in the Atlantic tropics, I can calmly assess it, see what the projections are, and then go about my business ... mostly.

There is healing in this. It is completely appropriate to watch for and be prepared for potential hurricanes. Yet it's good to know that watching for hurricanes in the Gulf is not the only thing I want/need to do. Recovery from disaster takes time. I just never realized how much time.

Five years! And I believe I'm just really beginning to get on the other side of the chaos. True, there have been two hurricanes in the area since Her Horribleness roared through town, one of them a rather nasty character. It's certainly given me a better perspective on how we deal with catastrophic change and how long it may take for true healing to begin.

Oh! Gee! It's almost 50 past the hour! Guess I'd better get today's fix of the Tropical Update. But then, I'll probably be good to go until tomorrow.

So Much Has Happened ...

so little has changed.

Geesh! It's been about six weeks since I last posted anything here. Part of that time I was out of town. Part of it - well, my computer and I have been engaged in battle. I'm still not certain who won.

In any case, a six-week saga.

First up, I attended our denomination's biennial meeting on behalf of a national committee I served on for seven years. The denomination has undertaken the task of rewriting a portion of our Book of Order, which provides the polity our denomination operates under. It has been a major work and much that is good has been done.

The committee I served on had some concerns that particular issues related to diversity and inclusiveness had not been adequately addressed, however. I was invited to do some work for the committee which required me to attend our main meeting and basically do some politicking. New territory for me. We didn't get everything we wanted (who does?), but we accomplished most of the really important things. 'Twas good!

That was followed by a quick whirlwind trip for an interview in Michigan. Wonderful congregation doing really good stuff. Not call. That's ok. It's good to check these things out. "Call" is such a difficult thing to discern sometimes. Face to face is the only way to do it. I wish them all the best in their search for a new pastor.

Once home, I got clipped by a nasty stomach virus. Must have picked up something on one of those flights I took. YUCK! And I've preached at a couple of local churches. And I've continued to search for a new church to serve, while trying to find some way to earn buckos in the meantime. And I've done local committee work, while trying to sell my house. Plus, I was felled by what turned out to be a slow-dying modem keeping me from making contact with the rest of the universe, while battling my computer which decided that I needed to reinstall the hard drive ... twice!

And I'm still basically back where I was before all these important, busy things happened.

Still job-hunting. Still trying to sell my house. Still living in faith.

This morning's epistle lesson was a good one for me today. Hebrews 11:1-16. "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for; the conviction of things unseen." Then there's the reminder that Abraham and Sarah did some serious wandering in faith. They weren't sure where they were headed. They just went the direction God pointed.

Feels pretty familiar at the moment.

Then, when everything seemed really lost and hopeless, the ancient and barren Abraham and Sarah had their lives filled with "laughter" - Isaac.

I needed that message.

Doesn't stop me from feeling impatient. Abraham and Sarah wandered through impatience as well. Maybe something has been accomplished afterall. I'm sure it'll be easier to see in the rearview mirror.

In the meantime, I'll continue to live by faith and not by sight, and rest in the assurance of things hoped for; the conviction of things unseen.