Booby Smush

Yesterday I took care of an annual obligation. It's not something I particularly enjoy, partly because there is an embarrasing component to it. It's not particularly painful, though there has usually been some discomfort involved. In the grand scheme of things, it's a momentary inconvenience; however, it is vital to one's health and well-being. I went for my mammogram.

It was actually a positive experience!

The Dauphin Center at Memorial Hermann Baptist in Beaumont opened in 2006, so it's pretty new. Sign-in didn't take long at all. When my name was called, I was taken back to the changing area, told to do the usual upper body disrobing, and asked to put my stuff in a locker with a key to take with me.

Figuring I was going to get the usual skimpy scratchy paper gown, I was surprised to see what looked almost like a terrycloth bathrobe waiting in the dressing room. When I picked it up to put it on, I was absolutely astonished. It was warm!! Even though they have to keep the equipment area cool, they were considerate enough to do what they could to keep their patients comfortable.

After changing and locking up my stuff, I had a few minutes before the mammogram. The waiting area was comfortable, with bottled water and coffee available. Now, I don't drink coffee, but if I did ... well, there was a veritable "Starbucks" of choices available. Chocolate coffee, raspberry coffee, mint coffee, about 20 different types to choose from. WOW!

Since I was the second appointment after lunch, I didn't have long to wait. If you've never had a mammogram before, you get to stand next to the x-ray machine while the technician places your boob in the appropriate spot, body draped in semi-awkward position around the machine, then this clear plastic shape is lowered onto the boob, smushing it into the proper configuration. That's the part I've never liked, and it's often been just beyond discomfort into the realm of painful. Not here. The Dauphin Center has a digital mammogram machine and it apparently doesn't have to smush quite as hard as the regular machines do.

Four poses. Four smushes. Four bzzzt's. And it was over. No "wait here for a few minutes while I check to see if the pictures came out ok." No retakes. I was free to change clothes and go. Marvelous!

The staff of the Center was wonderful. Just the right balance of caring and professionalism. I usually figure I'm a rather glorious shade of red throughout the entire experience. Not this time. The people knew what they were doing and went about their business without me feeling I was on the spot and exposed.

Won't have the results back for about a week, so I won't be disclosing either rejoicing or fear right now. I'm not anticipating a negative result, but you never can tell. That's why one's annual mammogram is so important. It's an opportunity to take action early enough to make a difference if there is a problem.

Ladies, please do whatever you have to do to have an annual mammogram. I'm lucky. My insurance thinks it's such an important preventative test that they completely cover the cost. If you don't have insurance, check with your local breast cancer association. There are resources available to cover the cost based on ability to pay, free if you don't have the bucks or insurance. This is important stuff. Please, please, please don't neglect it.

Also, please don't neglect something simple you can do on a monthly basis - a self-exam. If you feel a lump or any abnormality, get thee to a physician ASAP! It may mean the difference between life and death. (OK - some of you may believe you're indestructible and that death is a century or two away. You may be right. Yet you may also be felled by something that seems so trivial as a little blip on a breast. Please don't take any chances.)

And, Gentlemen, while it occurs more rarely in men, this is not a "ladies only" disease. Breast cancer doesn't care about your gender when it decides to strike. That self-exam? Wouldn't hurt for you to do that, too. None of your friends would have to know about it, since you do it in the shower. At the first sign of a lump or bump, get it checked. We ladies enjoy having you around! Wouldn't want to lose you to breast cancer either.

So, ladies, if you haven't done it already, it's 2007. Time to schedule your annual booby smush. *chuckle*