The Ambivalence Zone

Like Dietrich Bonhoeffer, I really wrestle with how one's faith informs one's stance on things like the death penalty and war. Bonhoeffer started with the position that the harming or taking of another life is completely not an option for the devout Christian, and then ultimately was executed by the Nazi government for participating in a failed assasination attempt on Hitler. Read his books "Life Together" (of his days in an underground Christian seminary) and "Letters and Papers from Prison" (smuggled out by a friend while he was awaiting his execution). His journey from one position to the other speaks to the dilemma as it evolves throughout his life and experiences. Truth to tell, I'm not sure what I would have done in his shoes.

This week, Zacarias Moussaoui was sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole and sent to the Supermax facility in Colorado. There's no way I'm comparing him to Bonhoeffer! Just so you know that up front! However, he's the focal point for my contemplations at the moment.

In some respects, I've been out of touch with the "real" world for the past few days while at a meeting discussing such real-world experiences as discrimination, 'white privilege' (I intensely dislike that term - maybe it hits too close to home *sigh*), giving voice to the voiceless within our denomination, working to ensure that our leadership reflects our membership in all its variations (clergy/lay, male/female, racial-ethnic background, age, geographic area, etc.) So, today I've been catching up on several days' worth of newspapers.

In Thursday's paper I read the headline giving the sentence to Moussaoui, and wandered into the ambivalence zone. I hadn't read what was given by the jury as their rationale yet, so only had my assumptions to go on. The WWJD mantra (I know - how cliche!) popped into my head and said that this was the Christian thing to do, and yes, it's really most likely the way Jesus would have handled the situation. Look at how he treated those who crucified him! Yet I thought of those families who had lost everything to people such as Moussaoui and might feel something resembling relief at his death, and travelled a few steps in their direction. Then I began to say to myself, "Those jurors outfoxed him! He wanted death and martyrdom and what he got instead was life and, hopefully, only a footnote in the histories of the events of 9/11. They saw through his plea for the death sentence."

Then I read what was given of their reasoning ..... and thought "how lame!" Sorry - one probably shouldn't call the experience of an abusive and hateful upbringing a lame rationale for passing over the death penalty. Yet I think I would have preferred that the jurors have the courage of conviction to say, "We aren't going to execute you because we do not want to turn you into a martyr." But then, by blaming Moussaoui's actions on his past rather than on his religious fanaticism, the jurors have blunted the potential 'live martyrdom' of Moussaoui's incarceration.

Even so, I'm conflicted. How does one live out one's Christianity faithfully when faced with such dilemmas as the appropriate punishment for the taking of lives, and boldly stated intent to keep on taking lives whenever possible? Guess I'll just have to get used to living in the ambivalence zone on this one.