Skies and the GPS

I recently broke down and bought a GPS to help me find my way around when I move to wherever my next church is. Besides, I'm seriously directionally challenged, especially when I'm someplace new and, since I was headed into uncharted territory recently, figured I could use the assist.

It's a nice little GPS, not top of the line, not bottom of the barrel. Instruction manuals drive me nuts, so with just a little bit of reading under my belt, I jumped right in and began to figure things out. The first thing I did was spend about 30 minutes figuring out how to make the darned thing post in ENGLISH. Out of the box it seemed to believe that Italian was the language of the day. (Or was it Latin?)

After that, it was time to find the voice that would be least annoying. I think there were about 10 different voices to choose from, 5 female, 5 male. Now this was an important decision, so I took my time, listening to each of the voices several times and, finally, settled on Dave.

Recognizing that we tend to anthropomorphize much of the technology in our lives (or at least I do), next on the list was providing the little beastie with a name. And, no, it couldn't be Dave. The company provided that name and it didn't really seem to fit him. In just a wink, I was now beginning a budding relationship with Tommy.

I test drove Tommy on my recent trip to Ft. Worth, a real doozie since I was headed to some completely unfamiliar territory. Tommy didn't do too badly, except for that trip on the uncompleted toll road. Tommy kept wanting me to exit to the right ... on an elevated freeway with no exits. He kept saying, "in x-hundred, feet exit right" ... long pause ... "in x-hundred feet, exit right" ... long pause ... (you get the picture). This went on for about 20 minutes until there was finally a place to exit, and then I found myself in the middle of nowhere and hadn't the foggiest which direction to go.

But Tommy redeemed himself and navigated me through some interesting neighborhoods until he dropped me in front of this huge multi-acre facility and said, "You have reached your destination." NOT! Somewhere on that huge property was the building I was supposed to go to and I couldn't figure out where that was. I had to drive around the "block" with Tommy sitting there in stoic silence, condemning me for not acknowledging that we'd arrived by bringing the car to a stop and turning him off.

I've discovered that I like to torment Tommy, not that he can really be tormented, but I seem to hear a touch of frustration in his voice when I don't go precisely where he wants me to. He's not one of those REALLY annoying models that says, "Recalculating" each time you miss the turn. Instead, Tommy just comes up with the next exit or turn that will take you in the diretion he seems to think you need to go, and keeps on until he finally gets exasperated and suggests that you turn around at your earliest and safest convenience.

So, instead of keeping Tommy hidden away as I travel around known territory, I tweak his nose and torment him by heading to places I know 3-4 different ways to get there, and then take a route that's different from the one he offers. Teehee!

Of course, he has his own way of getting even. Whenever I drive long distances where Tommy doesn't have much to say between directions, he startles the heck out of me when it's time to turn or exit. So, if you're ever behind me on a long drive and see me jump, just ignore me. It's just Tommy out for revenge. I'm so glad he's an inanimate object!