I'm Getting a Ro - of!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! They started on it today!! And, is it weird?!

I wasn't aware that they were going to start on it today. Went over there to meet an electrician, since some frayed conduit was found in the attic. He was already in the house checking things out. Really freaked me out! Of course, I was surprised to see people climbing on the roof and hammering and all, but expected people to be on the outside of the house doing that.

Intellectually, I'd realized that all anyone would have to do to break into my broken house was pull off the blue roof and climb in through the hole. What I didn't realize was the effect it would have on me to have someone actually do it, even if it was in the interest of repairing the hole and making that impossible. The whole tree through the house thing has been a bit surreal, and this just emphasized it. It wasn't quite a violated feeling (like someone actually breaking in when the house was intact), but it was definitely uncomfortable. Maybe it had something to do with me not being in control of who entered my home. *shiver* I'll be glad when that part of the repair's finished!

It's also odd how I'm feeling about actually having the roof repaired. *shrug* I guess I'd gotten used to coming by the house and looking up through the mangled rafters to see (and hear) a sea of blue. Maybe that hole and blue tarp were the 'realities' of surviving the storm, and when they're gone the visible symbols will make the hurricane even less real. I wasn't here when the storm came through - a good thing - and I would have left even if I'd been in the state when the storm headed this way.

But I find myself looking for the damage as I drive around town, as if to confirm for myself that the devastation of the storm really happened. I've got family coming in for Christmas, who've only seen pictures of the damage, and that just of my house and the church. Somehow I want to be able to 'prove' to them that we had a real catastrophe here, and the piles of debris and blue roofs and mangled metal were part of that proof.

Don't get me wrong! I'm glad that things are beginning to be cleaned up and repaired! And, no matter what, all those missing trees will be a reminder that something happened around here of major proportion. It's part of the process of healing, I think. No matter how you describe it to someone, or even show them pictures, there is no way they can truly understand what it is you've experienced. There is a vast difference between a picture, which can only show a small portion of the damage and even that not in perspective, and the actual physical walking through to see the twisted rafters mingled with shingles and flashing and broken tree limbs and the water on the floor with pictures and knick-knacks sitting right in the midst of it all and completely untouched. There's an emptiness which just can't be put into words. It can only be experienced.

*sigh* Maybe I'll find the words someday, but I doubt it. I may find the words that satisfy me, but I'm not sure anyone who hasn't been through a similar experience will be able to 'get it'.

Ah, well! I'm getting a ro-of!! WOOHOO!! And on that note, I'm going to just smile for a while and bring this to an end!