Discombobulated

Indicative of my state of mind at the moment, I've started this about six times and deleted it each time. The ideas and topics have changed each time. There currently is no focus in my life, except getting through the day more or less intact. I've had times when I've been discombobulated before, but I don't think it's ever been quite like this. Really strange!

For one thing, I'm still dislocated. My home is getting closer to moving back into, but it's still going to be a while. I would never have believed how disorienting such a situation is. The rational (no, not rational, because I'm not irrational. Let's say instead 'the empathetic') part of me thinks, "If you're feeling dislocated, think how those who have no homes to go back to feel!" Yet, I am in the here and now in my life, so feeling somewhat like a ship without an anchor is not unreasonable. It's frustrating to want something which you know is in just-and-such a place in your home, but your home is 2-3 miles away from where you are living. And everything where you are living is in just a temporary location. Most of my clothes are still in suitcases! There's my stuff here, but nothing seems to have a home (if you get my drift).

Much is going on at the church. It's Lent, so getting things ready for Holy Week and Easter are enough to keep anyone busy. We're also in transition on our Choir Director/Accompanist position. Our interim's last Sunday is tomorrow. Our new one starts on Wednesday. Good things happening in the long run, but the transition time itself makes for shaky feelings and experiences.

Tomorrow afternoon I head out to see the national church at work, and participate in it! On Monday, we're selecting the moderators and vice moderators of the GA committees for our June meeting. I've never been a part of this before, so it'll be interesting to see how this works. When I graduated from seminary, I would have never believed I'd be doing things at the national level! *chuckle* Guess I've done a bit of growing since then!

Let's see. What else has happened this week? My son was supposed to come in during spring break, but had car trouble and had to bail. He's going to try to get in next week. I was really hoping to see him, though, so that's been a disappointment. I've wrangled with the postal service and won! I found out that the water leak(s) happen to be above ground, so we don't have to break into the foundation to fix them. Whew! Have a volunteer group coming in on 4/1, so I've gotta make some decisions about paint colors and wallpaper before then. My computer crashed and I've had all sorts of trouble with reformatting the hard drive and getting things up and running. I think it's about time for a new computer. *sigh*

I watched Black. White. and still feel ambivalent about that show. I'm having difficulty sorting out what behavior is resulting from the interracial interaction and what is just plain the personalities of the people involved. Truth is, I think the teens are probably getting the most out of the experience, and I wish they'd focus on the son for a while. In the two episodes I've watched, he's only had a bit part. I'm curious as to what's going through his mind. The parents seem to be involved in a tug-of-war as to who is getting the whole thing right, and I'm not sure there isn't some social sabotage happening there as well. The kids are being honest about their experiences, though, and I think that's of value.

When I look back over the past week, and what's to come ahead, I think I'm just drained and need some time to recharge - head off to the middle of nowhere for 2-3 days and just soak in some 'me time'. Wonder if Mo-Ranch has a room where I can vegetate and wander the hill country for a few days? Of course, when I'm going to manage to carve that out is a mystery to me at the moment. *very deep sigh* guess what! Pastors are human after all! *chuckle*