Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Lasts

The small, but wonderful, congregation I serve is undergoing dissolution and will be ending its ministry at the end of May next year. So, now we are doing "lasts". The last community Thanksgiving, the last Advent, the last Christmas Eve Candlelight Communion service, the last 'nog' ...

Of course, these experiences are filled with deep emotion. Something beautiful is coming to an end and the beginnings are just so nebulous and uncertain at the moment. For many of the members, the church is the only, or almost the only, congregation they've been a part of ... or they've been members for 15-20 years or more. Letting go isn't easy, and shouldn't be. If it were too easy, you'd wonder if they were ever committed to the ministry in the first place.

Things have been a bit surreal for me. True, I was a member here in the mid-70s, early 80s, so I do have a fairly solid connection to the congregation beyond the years I've served as pastor. However, I guess part of what makes this time seem a bit surreal is that I'm doing the things that I'd ordinarily be doing with a congregation at this time of year and will be doing once again with the next congregation I serve. There will be tweaks and differences, but there will still be sermons and communion and special music and Joy Gift offerings and holiday fellowship events.

After worship the other day, I overheard part of a conversation where someone was wondering how anyone could miss worship during this time of "lasts". The person commented on how special these worship services have been, along the lines of better than usual. Perhaps it's just that these are "lasts". To me, they've contained the usual bumbles and miscues and glorious moments that any other worship service has during Advent.

I still can't put together those Joy Gift offering boxes without something not working right. Probably never will. I still manage to forget to tell someone something they really need to know before helping in the worship service. I still manage some of the more creative bulletin typos along with the mundane everyday variety that I manage to include in the "regular" bulletin. The sermons still tell the "old, old story" using the lectionary texts that I've used for more than a decade.

See? Business as usual. And yet it isn't.

There is a quality to the life of the church which transcends business as usual. A touch of helter-skelter. This is new territory for almost all of us and we're groping our way through the process. But there's something about the "lasts" which adds an extra quality, a bittersweet enjoyment perhaps?, which is visible on/in those who have chosen to face the "lasts" and experience them. It's something which cannot be put into words and yet it's there.

What an honor to be invited to participate in this particular ending! It is a blessed experience for God is in the midst of it.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Avoidance

I guess that's as good a word as any for it.

It's real. It's official. And I've been avoiding writing about it. Three Sundays ago our congregation voted to dissolve as of May 31, 2009. It was a very difficult decision, and has been coming on for a looooooooong time. Yet it's hard to keep a congregation going when what comes in doesn't come close to what's going out.

The congregation is incredible! They were the ones who brought up the subject of bringing the ministry to a close. It wasn't easy for them to do that, but they want to be able to end with dignity and the ability to help the community with the resources they have available instead of spending it all on keeping the doors open.

Of course, people feel sad and a bit lost. For many, it's the only church they've ever belonged to. And they've a heart for each other as well as for ministering to the community.

As I'm typing this, I've been watching a tv report on the closure. Weird feelings to have it out there like that. There'll be an article in the local paper tomorrow, too. Doesn't help any that I HATE watching myself on tv. Part of me wants to crawl under the covers and hide.

It's one thing for those of us in the congregation to say that our ministry is coming to an end. It's another to have some stranger announce it to the world.

Well, tomorrow may be interesting. Our plan is to sell the building and use the proceeds to help maintain the children's center, plus help other community programs as we are able. Betcha I get a whole lot of calls from realtors and others!

Maybe I'll be able to say more about the process and how I'm feeling later. But I did manage to get past the first post!