Well, it's been one of those weeks. *sigh* At least it's had some good in it!
Today, our congregation ordained and installed our third youth member on the Session! Now one-quarter of our Session is under the age of 20. What an awesome leap of faith!! Before last year's election, our congregation voted to have a position called Youth Elder - the only distinction between a Youth Elder and an Elder is the length of their terms. And then elected two of our youth to serve on the Session, one in a one year term, one in a standard three year term. So this year - our youth in a one year term was reelected to another one year term, and another youth has been elected to a three year term.
This congregation has a history of taking leaps of faith. I can't help but be excited by the continuing faith journey of a congregation willing to be the first Presbyterian church in the nation to call a woman to serve as associate pastor back in the 60's. And who helped to start several new congregations, including a couple of racial-ethnic congregations (one didn't make it, but I'm impressed that this group took the risk and tried). Now they've embraced the leadership potential of our youth and drawn them into the decision-making for the future of this congregation. WOOHOO!! Next month, one of our youth elders will be our elected commissioner with voice and vote to our presbytery meeting in Huntsville. These wonderful young people are the present and future of not only this congregation, but of an incredible witness to our faith in Jesus Christ. Who couldn't say this was THE GOOD?
OK - there have been other good moments in this week, but that one deserves all caps!
The bad - my roof is still in nasty shape, at least part of it is - the part where the tree came in. Well, it is covered and the rain no longer works its way into the house to cause potential problems. However, the rafter system where the tree came in is all fouled up. Some of the damage is storm damage that hasn't been addressed by either the insurance company nor the roofer. Some of it is stuff that's a result of the way the roofer did his work. FRUSTRATING!! And, of course, I can't move on to the next part of getting my house back together until the roof's fixed. And now that I have a roof covering the house, it's going to be harder to fix the section which isn't right yet. I'm still not living in my house. While blessed to have a good and safe place to stay, I really want to be back in my own home, with my own furniture and my own BED, right now! And that's bad, isn't it?
The ugly - the insurance company has said it's not going to do anything else on the roof. The roofer says that there're one-two things which he's going to fix, but the main problem, he won't work on because the insurance company didn't allocate enough funds to cover the cost of the repair. And I'm in the middle. I'm tired of 'he said, he said' conversations, where it's expected that I transmit the information from one group to another. I don't speak the lingo! I don't speak 'contractor'!! I don't speak 'insurance'!! HELP!!! The good news is that I have people in my congregation who can translate and are willing to help. But it gets me to thinking about all those others who may be in the same pickle, and who may not know how to evaluate the work that's been completed on their homes or may not be able to interpret what insurance adjusters and contractors are saying.
The insurance company says it can't be involved in a dispute with the roofer. My consulting engineer church member says that, yes, some of the problem was caused by the roofer, but some of the problem is damage that hasn't been addressed by anyone involved with the repairs. And I can't get both parties in the same room to discuss the issue, which means my house isn't having anything done to it. Since the insurance company is supposed to help get my house returned to a usable state, and they are the ones providing the funding, you'd think they would be willing to hear directly from the roofer what some of the needs are, rather than second-hand from someone who doesn't speak the lingo. I'm not expecting the insurance company to cover the costs which are the result of the roofer not doing his job right, but I am expecting both of them to work together to get my house back together. Maybe I'm just an optimist, but one can only hope.
I'm working on some leverage, and think I have some, yet I wonder about those who don't. Where do they go to get the help they need to resolve inadequate work and coverage issues? Who advocates for those who don't have the resources to hire an engineer or attorney or other expert to help in such situations? *sigh* Not only are they/we dealing with the disruption of the aftermath of the hurricane, but also are dealing with obstructions from those we are paying to help us get things back toward normal (either through insurance premiums or the cost of repairs). Insult to injury. The ugly, don't you think?
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
Synchronicity
From dictionary.com - Coincidence of events that seem to be meaningfully related. And this past week has been filled with synchronicity.
On Thursday, what began as we returned from our Rita exile, continued with a meeting of the newly formed Southeast Texas Interfaith Organization for Disaster Recovery. For me, that one little/big word - Interfaith - makes it all worthwhile. We've got a ways to go. Interfaith is mostly interdenominational at the moment (and at that, it doesn't include all of the denominations), but even that's an accomplishment. We're working together to help homeowners who fall between the cracks of insurance and other assistance programs get their homes repaired and livable again. Guess you could say it's one good thing which has come out of Her Horribleness.
On Friday, I left before the crack of dawn for a meeting of the General Assembly Committee on Representation Executive Committee, which I moderate. The Committee came into existence at reunion to ensure that the leadership of the PCUSA would include a diversity of men and women, clergy and lay, and racial-ethnic representation. The work of the committee has expanded to include representation of various age groups and those with disabilities. There is much good happening, and yet, we've such a long way to go. Systemic change takes time, and I sometimes get impatient. I guess if the worship hour continues to be the most segregated hour of the week (shame on us! Why do we continue to build walls instead of bridges?!), it's no wonder we haven't quite accomplished that task in the leadership of the church. At least we are maintaining an awareness of the need to be inclusive and are taking steps to address the issue.
On Saturday, after the meeting, two of us decided to head into Atlanta and see a play. In terms of location, we decided visit the local Shakespeare Theater. Guess what was playing: The Merchant of Venice! Issues of racism, prejudice, religious hatred - not in a good light, to say the least. Unfortunately, there are people who would take Shakespeare's words and use them as justification for their own biases. I found myself of two minds in enjoying the play. The love story and the machinations in bringing it to fruition were hiliarious. The underlying hatred between Christian and Jew were just plain uncomfortable. Admittedly, revenge is an emotion which can take over a person regardless of their religion. Shakespeare had his reasons in his particular context, but we should not continue to carry that particular hatred into our context.
On Sunday, the topic for our Faith Sharing group was how people of faith should respect each other, learn more about each other, accept that we actually have much in common in spite of our differences. We talked about what's the same in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam ... and acknowledged that we need to learn more. A good start! Hope we're able to keep this topic up and running!
And today - well, let's see: Ron Franscell has been banished from a conservative blog for not denouncing a liberal blog. And 'Seventh Heaven' was about racism. Anyone else detecting a theme here? Just how do we diverse individuals manage to maintain connection in a culture which at the moment seems to insist on compartmentalization? "If you don't completely agree with my take on reality, then you are someone to be despised and blocked from my view."
Hmmmmmmmmmm.....I wonder. We've learned to compartmentalize so much in our work/personal lives that perhaps that's what leads so many to wall off those who are different. Did we somewhere along the way forget what it means to be community? Or maybe there's just an idealist within me who thinks that we ever really knew. *sigh* Do you think we'll ever learn? One can only hope and pray.
On Thursday, what began as we returned from our Rita exile, continued with a meeting of the newly formed Southeast Texas Interfaith Organization for Disaster Recovery. For me, that one little/big word - Interfaith - makes it all worthwhile. We've got a ways to go. Interfaith is mostly interdenominational at the moment (and at that, it doesn't include all of the denominations), but even that's an accomplishment. We're working together to help homeowners who fall between the cracks of insurance and other assistance programs get their homes repaired and livable again. Guess you could say it's one good thing which has come out of Her Horribleness.
On Friday, I left before the crack of dawn for a meeting of the General Assembly Committee on Representation Executive Committee, which I moderate. The Committee came into existence at reunion to ensure that the leadership of the PCUSA would include a diversity of men and women, clergy and lay, and racial-ethnic representation. The work of the committee has expanded to include representation of various age groups and those with disabilities. There is much good happening, and yet, we've such a long way to go. Systemic change takes time, and I sometimes get impatient. I guess if the worship hour continues to be the most segregated hour of the week (shame on us! Why do we continue to build walls instead of bridges?!), it's no wonder we haven't quite accomplished that task in the leadership of the church. At least we are maintaining an awareness of the need to be inclusive and are taking steps to address the issue.
On Saturday, after the meeting, two of us decided to head into Atlanta and see a play. In terms of location, we decided visit the local Shakespeare Theater. Guess what was playing: The Merchant of Venice! Issues of racism, prejudice, religious hatred - not in a good light, to say the least. Unfortunately, there are people who would take Shakespeare's words and use them as justification for their own biases. I found myself of two minds in enjoying the play. The love story and the machinations in bringing it to fruition were hiliarious. The underlying hatred between Christian and Jew were just plain uncomfortable. Admittedly, revenge is an emotion which can take over a person regardless of their religion. Shakespeare had his reasons in his particular context, but we should not continue to carry that particular hatred into our context.
On Sunday, the topic for our Faith Sharing group was how people of faith should respect each other, learn more about each other, accept that we actually have much in common in spite of our differences. We talked about what's the same in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam ... and acknowledged that we need to learn more. A good start! Hope we're able to keep this topic up and running!
And today - well, let's see: Ron Franscell has been banished from a conservative blog for not denouncing a liberal blog. And 'Seventh Heaven' was about racism. Anyone else detecting a theme here? Just how do we diverse individuals manage to maintain connection in a culture which at the moment seems to insist on compartmentalization? "If you don't completely agree with my take on reality, then you are someone to be despised and blocked from my view."
Hmmmmmmmmmm.....I wonder. We've learned to compartmentalize so much in our work/personal lives that perhaps that's what leads so many to wall off those who are different. Did we somewhere along the way forget what it means to be community? Or maybe there's just an idealist within me who thinks that we ever really knew. *sigh* Do you think we'll ever learn? One can only hope and pray.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Women Presidents?
I opened my Houston Chronicle this morning and the first thing to catch my eye was that Chile, Chile mind you!, had elected their first female president. And here in the United States it still seems such a far-fetched idea that a woman could be elected president that the only way tv could make it 'palatable' to the public was to elect a woman as vice-president and then elevate her to the office of president through the death of the president. (and to have that woman be an independent candidate, at that!) HARUMPH!!
Yes, there's more discussion now about the electability of Hiliary Clinton or Condaleeza Rice as president, but if you listen to the subtext, there's almost a not-in-a-million-years flavor to the discussion. What is our problem?!?
It's not that we don't have women with the qualifications and credentials to serve as president. There are women quite ably managing Fortune 500 coumpanies and dealing in international commerce who should have gained sufficient experience to manage all of the various responsibilities of the presidency. Yet you can almost feel people cringing away from the concept. *very deep and long sigh*
Golda Meir of Israel and Margaret Thatcher of Great Britain are two women who come to my mind immediately as strong and capable leaders nationally and internationally. Meir rose to prominence in the late 60's-early 70's, Thatcher in the late 70's-early 90's. And the USA still slogs along wondering about whether a woman could do the job.
This year the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) celebrates 100 years of ordaining women to leadership roles as Deacons and 50 years of ordaining women as Ministers of Word and Sacraments. (The 75th anniversary of the ordination of women as Elders was celebrated last year.) The church hasn't fallen apart as a result. Men and women both bring different gifts to their ministries, just as each individual brings different gifts. Yet there are still places here in the United States where the concept of women in official leadership roles is an obstacle to be overcome.
One of the most fulfilling experiences I had in my previous pastorate was working with a Native American congregation to help them (at their request) to elect women into leadership as Elders. The intriguing thing in this instance was that the men were highly encouraging of the concept, but the women were reluctant to put their names in the hat. Over the course of a couple of years, I watched the men and women minister together in that congregation and tried to understand what the source of their reticence was.
This was a congregation without a pastor and the Elders took turns on Sundays with the preaching responsibilities during the Sunday morning worship. They also had a Sunday evening worship service, and often the women would be the main leadership, reading Scripture, leading prayers, and giving the message. In watching, I learned that the women were actually fulfilling main leadership roles, but simply weren't serving in elected positions of authority. As I talked with the women, I learned that what made them fearful of election to office was the expectation to preach at the Sunday morning worship service. (Isn't it odd what things lead us to shy away from moving forward?)
Once the men on the Session agreed to let a woman Elder opt out of preaching on Sunday mornings, and once I had pointed out to the women that they were already fulfilling all of the responsibilities of Elder, we had one of the women of the congregation agree to be nominated and she was elected. By the time I left that pastorate, I believe she was also filling the pulpit on Sunday mornings! AWESOME!!
As a woman pastor, I've also encountered more difficulty in terms of acceptance from women in the congregation. And it's not the kind of problem that one would expect - of a woman pastor acting inappropriately with a male church member - as has often been the concern of wives where women have entered other previously male-dominated fields. Rather, as one woman put it, "My daddy would roll over in his grave if he knew I was going to a church with a woman pastor."
I wonder if it's some of this kind of thinking which is making it more difficult for a majority of Americans to consider the possibility of electing a woman as president. If so, we are cutting off our noses to spite our faces. I wonder what it would take to dispel the obstacles placed in the path of potential women presidents. I hope we can someday soon get beyond them and tap into the potential gifts to be brought to a presidency by women. Oh well, at least when the counting's done, we won't be among the ranks of Saudi Arabia and Monaco, who have never had a woman to serve in at least a sub-ministerial position. That's saying something for us at any rate!
Yes, there's more discussion now about the electability of Hiliary Clinton or Condaleeza Rice as president, but if you listen to the subtext, there's almost a not-in-a-million-years flavor to the discussion. What is our problem?!?
It's not that we don't have women with the qualifications and credentials to serve as president. There are women quite ably managing Fortune 500 coumpanies and dealing in international commerce who should have gained sufficient experience to manage all of the various responsibilities of the presidency. Yet you can almost feel people cringing away from the concept. *very deep and long sigh*
Golda Meir of Israel and Margaret Thatcher of Great Britain are two women who come to my mind immediately as strong and capable leaders nationally and internationally. Meir rose to prominence in the late 60's-early 70's, Thatcher in the late 70's-early 90's. And the USA still slogs along wondering about whether a woman could do the job.
This year the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) celebrates 100 years of ordaining women to leadership roles as Deacons and 50 years of ordaining women as Ministers of Word and Sacraments. (The 75th anniversary of the ordination of women as Elders was celebrated last year.) The church hasn't fallen apart as a result. Men and women both bring different gifts to their ministries, just as each individual brings different gifts. Yet there are still places here in the United States where the concept of women in official leadership roles is an obstacle to be overcome.
One of the most fulfilling experiences I had in my previous pastorate was working with a Native American congregation to help them (at their request) to elect women into leadership as Elders. The intriguing thing in this instance was that the men were highly encouraging of the concept, but the women were reluctant to put their names in the hat. Over the course of a couple of years, I watched the men and women minister together in that congregation and tried to understand what the source of their reticence was.
This was a congregation without a pastor and the Elders took turns on Sundays with the preaching responsibilities during the Sunday morning worship. They also had a Sunday evening worship service, and often the women would be the main leadership, reading Scripture, leading prayers, and giving the message. In watching, I learned that the women were actually fulfilling main leadership roles, but simply weren't serving in elected positions of authority. As I talked with the women, I learned that what made them fearful of election to office was the expectation to preach at the Sunday morning worship service. (Isn't it odd what things lead us to shy away from moving forward?)
Once the men on the Session agreed to let a woman Elder opt out of preaching on Sunday mornings, and once I had pointed out to the women that they were already fulfilling all of the responsibilities of Elder, we had one of the women of the congregation agree to be nominated and she was elected. By the time I left that pastorate, I believe she was also filling the pulpit on Sunday mornings! AWESOME!!
As a woman pastor, I've also encountered more difficulty in terms of acceptance from women in the congregation. And it's not the kind of problem that one would expect - of a woman pastor acting inappropriately with a male church member - as has often been the concern of wives where women have entered other previously male-dominated fields. Rather, as one woman put it, "My daddy would roll over in his grave if he knew I was going to a church with a woman pastor."
I wonder if it's some of this kind of thinking which is making it more difficult for a majority of Americans to consider the possibility of electing a woman as president. If so, we are cutting off our noses to spite our faces. I wonder what it would take to dispel the obstacles placed in the path of potential women presidents. I hope we can someday soon get beyond them and tap into the potential gifts to be brought to a presidency by women. Oh well, at least when the counting's done, we won't be among the ranks of Saudi Arabia and Monaco, who have never had a woman to serve in at least a sub-ministerial position. That's saying something for us at any rate!
Friday, January 13, 2006
Of Insurance and Pensions
Pension plans frozen. Fewer employers providing free health insurance. It seems that more and more frequently those in the middle keep getting economically hit by something, and those at the low end have to struggle harder just to survive. Yes, there are those who use the system and play the 'poor' card to their advantage. But there are a vast number who are doing their best to improve their lot in life, and they keep getting knocked back by this and that change to the advantage of the wealthy (which is then supposed to somehow trickle down and improve the lot of the non-wealthy - haven't seen that happen yet).
Can't remember where I read this particular statistic, but the number sticks in my brain: CEO's and 'upper management' of large corporations, on average, make about 486 times what their average worker makes! There's something that feels so completely wrong about that disparity. I'm not saying that CEO's and upper management shouldn't have larger incomes. They do and should take on responsibilites that warrant 'big bucks'. However, much of the income which their businesses earn comes from the work of their employees, and those employees should be recognized more accurately for the value they provide to the business. One of the original values of the union movement was that it forced those business leaders to acknowledge that their income was the result of the work and safety of others, and that there was a value attached to that.
It's outrageous that the top management of Enron and other similar debacles will still have substantial assets even after serving sentences for their behavior, while their employees have lost jobs, pensions, health insurance and with little or no recompense for the losses they've suffered. It's outrageous that top leadership of companies undergoing bankruptcy receive millions in compensation, while their employees are expected to take pay and benefit cuts. It's outrageous that health insurance costs grow by such leaps and bounds that even employees with good incomes are forced to pay larger and larger shares of that cost (I'm not saying the costs shouldn't be shared. I'm just saying that a family shouldn't be bankrupted as a result of those increasing costs.) and that small businesses who truly want to support and reward their employees with this benefit are unable to do so because of the cost to their business.
I know there are a huge number of factors playing into the dynamics of this situation, some of them legitimate. I also know that there are CEO's and companies out there who make an effort to treat their employees equitably. It just seems that all too often it's the employee who has to make concessions while the employers come out in the same financial shape as before, or even better. That's wrong! To me, it's even more wrong when those employers present themselves as Christians. Somehow they've missed the point and slipped back into a biblical mindset which existed around the time of the writing of Job: if you're truly a good and honorable person then God's gonna reward you with things, a surplus of the toys/benefits that show the world God has picked you as a favorite. Hogwash! (Of course, at the end of Job, he gets everything back and then some, which blows the whole lesson, but I have a feeling that someone who just couldn't stand it that the things weren't the point added that on.)
And tying health insurance to one's employer makes things difficult for employees as well. What if you or a family member have significant (or even insignificant) health problems? It's not easy to up and leave an employer over other reasons if your health care might be terminated. Yeah - there's that 18month ERISA benefit. Have you ever had to pay the almost impossible premiums for continuing insurance when you don't have any income to pay with?! The resultant gap in coverage makes it virtually impossible to get 'pre-existing conditions' covered with a new employer, and the cycle goes on and on. And, if you're downsized from a position, then you're just plain up the creek!
Some form of universal healthcare is a resonable response. My mom pops in with 'but then there'd be rationing of health care if that happened'. *sigh* She just doesn't get it. There's already health care rationing - if you can't afford it, you don't get it, and there are way too many people who can't afford the premiums or the copays and just don't get the care they need and deserve as humans. (And health care rationing is even worse in Third World countries. *double sigh*)
The whole situation is just plain frustrating! And I don't see it getting any better at all over the next three years, if anything it will probably get worse. oh, well! Ranting didn't help any (and maybe that's a good thing). I'll have to do some thinking on that!
Can't remember where I read this particular statistic, but the number sticks in my brain: CEO's and 'upper management' of large corporations, on average, make about 486 times what their average worker makes! There's something that feels so completely wrong about that disparity. I'm not saying that CEO's and upper management shouldn't have larger incomes. They do and should take on responsibilites that warrant 'big bucks'. However, much of the income which their businesses earn comes from the work of their employees, and those employees should be recognized more accurately for the value they provide to the business. One of the original values of the union movement was that it forced those business leaders to acknowledge that their income was the result of the work and safety of others, and that there was a value attached to that.
It's outrageous that the top management of Enron and other similar debacles will still have substantial assets even after serving sentences for their behavior, while their employees have lost jobs, pensions, health insurance and with little or no recompense for the losses they've suffered. It's outrageous that top leadership of companies undergoing bankruptcy receive millions in compensation, while their employees are expected to take pay and benefit cuts. It's outrageous that health insurance costs grow by such leaps and bounds that even employees with good incomes are forced to pay larger and larger shares of that cost (I'm not saying the costs shouldn't be shared. I'm just saying that a family shouldn't be bankrupted as a result of those increasing costs.) and that small businesses who truly want to support and reward their employees with this benefit are unable to do so because of the cost to their business.
I know there are a huge number of factors playing into the dynamics of this situation, some of them legitimate. I also know that there are CEO's and companies out there who make an effort to treat their employees equitably. It just seems that all too often it's the employee who has to make concessions while the employers come out in the same financial shape as before, or even better. That's wrong! To me, it's even more wrong when those employers present themselves as Christians. Somehow they've missed the point and slipped back into a biblical mindset which existed around the time of the writing of Job: if you're truly a good and honorable person then God's gonna reward you with things, a surplus of the toys/benefits that show the world God has picked you as a favorite. Hogwash! (Of course, at the end of Job, he gets everything back and then some, which blows the whole lesson, but I have a feeling that someone who just couldn't stand it that the things weren't the point added that on.)
And tying health insurance to one's employer makes things difficult for employees as well. What if you or a family member have significant (or even insignificant) health problems? It's not easy to up and leave an employer over other reasons if your health care might be terminated. Yeah - there's that 18month ERISA benefit. Have you ever had to pay the almost impossible premiums for continuing insurance when you don't have any income to pay with?! The resultant gap in coverage makes it virtually impossible to get 'pre-existing conditions' covered with a new employer, and the cycle goes on and on. And, if you're downsized from a position, then you're just plain up the creek!
Some form of universal healthcare is a resonable response. My mom pops in with 'but then there'd be rationing of health care if that happened'. *sigh* She just doesn't get it. There's already health care rationing - if you can't afford it, you don't get it, and there are way too many people who can't afford the premiums or the copays and just don't get the care they need and deserve as humans. (And health care rationing is even worse in Third World countries. *double sigh*)
The whole situation is just plain frustrating! And I don't see it getting any better at all over the next three years, if anything it will probably get worse. oh, well! Ranting didn't help any (and maybe that's a good thing). I'll have to do some thinking on that!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Those Darned Absolutes
My mind was idly thinking of the things that have to get done, when I remembered it was also time to do taxes. "Blech!" I thought. Then up popped Benjamin Franklin's famous quote, "Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes." Of course, I said sagely to myself ... and stopped cold! Huh?! Nothing is certain!? Wait a minute!!
The next thought that rambled into my head was "The only constant is change." Huh?! The only?! I don't know how many times I've said that. It's been around since the philosopher Heraclitus (in some form or another). The situation comes up where either of these seems appropriate and out they pop!
On the surface, both these statements are truisms. And yet........ We unfortunately get into trouble when we start throwing around such absolutes as 'nothing is certain' and 'the only' without thinking about them a little deeper. Especially as Christians, I wonder why we haven't examined either of these. I really don't want my only certainties to be 'death and taxes' nor the only constant in my life to be 'change'.
And they aren't! "Love never ends." (1 Corinthians 13:8) A constant - unlike change - always there. Ok - human love doesn't always fill the bill, but the love Paul's talking about is the love of God in Christ Jesus. Eternal. Unendling. There whether we claim it or not. That's a certainty that I want to hold close in this time when everything still has an unsettled iffiness to it.
I find I need to hear again and again "Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? ... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:35, 37-39)
The Apostle Paul knew where his certainties and constants were and are. I do, too, when I don't get caught up in the temporary and human things in life. Ah, well! "You can't change the past." (Guess I'll have to give you that one! As much as the science fiction addict in me would love to have some events of the past changed, I'd really feel uncomfortable if there (itallics) was (end itallics) someone who could just change whatever they wanted whenever it didn't work out right, according to their definition!) But I can change the way I approach things in the future. And, starting right now, I'm planning to give those familiar absolutes that we humans come up with a good looking over ........... and carry within me the one sure and certain constant: "Lo, I am with you always" (Matthew 28:20)
The next thought that rambled into my head was "The only constant is change." Huh?! The only?! I don't know how many times I've said that. It's been around since the philosopher Heraclitus (in some form or another). The situation comes up where either of these seems appropriate and out they pop!
On the surface, both these statements are truisms. And yet........ We unfortunately get into trouble when we start throwing around such absolutes as 'nothing is certain' and 'the only' without thinking about them a little deeper. Especially as Christians, I wonder why we haven't examined either of these. I really don't want my only certainties to be 'death and taxes' nor the only constant in my life to be 'change'.
And they aren't! "Love never ends." (1 Corinthians 13:8) A constant - unlike change - always there. Ok - human love doesn't always fill the bill, but the love Paul's talking about is the love of God in Christ Jesus. Eternal. Unendling. There whether we claim it or not. That's a certainty that I want to hold close in this time when everything still has an unsettled iffiness to it.
I find I need to hear again and again "Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? ... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:35, 37-39)
The Apostle Paul knew where his certainties and constants were and are. I do, too, when I don't get caught up in the temporary and human things in life. Ah, well! "You can't change the past." (Guess I'll have to give you that one! As much as the science fiction addict in me would love to have some events of the past changed, I'd really feel uncomfortable if there (itallics) was (end itallics) someone who could just change whatever they wanted whenever it didn't work out right, according to their definition!) But I can change the way I approach things in the future. And, starting right now, I'm planning to give those familiar absolutes that we humans come up with a good looking over ........... and carry within me the one sure and certain constant: "Lo, I am with you always" (Matthew 28:20)
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Outrage
They've done it! A few voices spoke and the tv management caved! Yes, there are things on tv which I wouldn't in a million years watch, but they're available. The assumption is that I'm a grown-up and can choose whether to watch or not. But not for this show. We didn't even get the chance to see if it would be worthy of spending the time one it. All because a few voices didn't like what the commercials were saying about the show. THEY hadn't seen it either, but just knew that it would warp everyone's little brains if the show even aired. ARGH!
As if Christ couldn't handle whatever inanity humanity came up with. The Book of Daniel didn't even get a chance in Southeast Texas. Truth to tell, I wasn't sure whether I wanted to watch it or not. The commercials didn't paint a picture that was compelling enough to ensure that I'd at least put a tape in the machine to watch it later. I probably would have given it at least one shot at telling the story, but I didn't get that chance to make the decision.
What is it that makes some people so scared about what entertainment is on tv? I'm actually more worried about how real people actually act and the things they actually do which harm others. And we get to see large percentages of that on tv! 24 hour news channels with their talking heads - and all of the fluff and bother that they put on - without spending time on the things which really matter to the lives of millions. Sure, some worthy events capture our attention for a span of time, but all too often, we are given the minutia while truly important events escape without notice. *sigh*
If we become a nation of sheep (and I'm afraid we're already pretty close to that), we will have lost what made us a country worthy of emulating. People have to be allowed to examine issues (even inane entertainment issues) and decide whether for themselves whether they are harmful or not. That's what freedom of speech is about. I guess in some convoluted way you could say that the tv station exercised their freedom of speech by pulling the show. It is a private enterprise and not a public station; however, they are using public airwaves and entered into an agreement with the national broadcasting system to air the programming provided.
Perhaps if enough people grouse about it, they will air the show at a time which isn't "prime time". Probably won't be enough people who'll take the time to grouse, though. As I said earlier, the commercials weren't about a particularly compelling storyline. But what goes next if we don't grouse? Are we headed for the era of approved "government speak", where if you don't say the correct words, you are subjected to reorientation? Probably not within the next few years, but it's still a possibility on the edge of the horizon. The 'if you aren't with us, you must be against us (and therefore in favor of the enemy)' mindset is dangerous to our current freedom and the workings of democracy.
I cringe when I think of what has happened in only a few years. For most of my life, I lived in Texas. When I moved to Oklahoma, it felt as though I'd left a place where independence was valued almost above all else. Now, there's not much left of that sense of independence. Partisan politics have shifted so far that the few voices seeking a middle ground are almost silenced, and gridlock is SOP.
There is much still to love about Texas. I was quite proud of the way Texans jumped in to help those fleeing Katrina, and how that work is still continuing today, even in the aftermath of Rita here at home. That kind of love and concern for others is truly what it means to be Christian (and a lot of non-Christians are just as good at it as well). If our actions as a nation were such exemplars of our supposedly Judeo-Christian roots, sure there might be some to take advantage of us, but at the same time, we would be living out in fullness the Kingdom of God which we profess to believe is 'already but not yet' in our world. Exhibiting that love for enemies, neighbors, and self is part of that very real 'already'. I hope we get there someday!
As if Christ couldn't handle whatever inanity humanity came up with. The Book of Daniel didn't even get a chance in Southeast Texas. Truth to tell, I wasn't sure whether I wanted to watch it or not. The commercials didn't paint a picture that was compelling enough to ensure that I'd at least put a tape in the machine to watch it later. I probably would have given it at least one shot at telling the story, but I didn't get that chance to make the decision.
What is it that makes some people so scared about what entertainment is on tv? I'm actually more worried about how real people actually act and the things they actually do which harm others. And we get to see large percentages of that on tv! 24 hour news channels with their talking heads - and all of the fluff and bother that they put on - without spending time on the things which really matter to the lives of millions. Sure, some worthy events capture our attention for a span of time, but all too often, we are given the minutia while truly important events escape without notice. *sigh*
If we become a nation of sheep (and I'm afraid we're already pretty close to that), we will have lost what made us a country worthy of emulating. People have to be allowed to examine issues (even inane entertainment issues) and decide whether for themselves whether they are harmful or not. That's what freedom of speech is about. I guess in some convoluted way you could say that the tv station exercised their freedom of speech by pulling the show. It is a private enterprise and not a public station; however, they are using public airwaves and entered into an agreement with the national broadcasting system to air the programming provided.
Perhaps if enough people grouse about it, they will air the show at a time which isn't "prime time". Probably won't be enough people who'll take the time to grouse, though. As I said earlier, the commercials weren't about a particularly compelling storyline. But what goes next if we don't grouse? Are we headed for the era of approved "government speak", where if you don't say the correct words, you are subjected to reorientation? Probably not within the next few years, but it's still a possibility on the edge of the horizon. The 'if you aren't with us, you must be against us (and therefore in favor of the enemy)' mindset is dangerous to our current freedom and the workings of democracy.
I cringe when I think of what has happened in only a few years. For most of my life, I lived in Texas. When I moved to Oklahoma, it felt as though I'd left a place where independence was valued almost above all else. Now, there's not much left of that sense of independence. Partisan politics have shifted so far that the few voices seeking a middle ground are almost silenced, and gridlock is SOP.
There is much still to love about Texas. I was quite proud of the way Texans jumped in to help those fleeing Katrina, and how that work is still continuing today, even in the aftermath of Rita here at home. That kind of love and concern for others is truly what it means to be Christian (and a lot of non-Christians are just as good at it as well). If our actions as a nation were such exemplars of our supposedly Judeo-Christian roots, sure there might be some to take advantage of us, but at the same time, we would be living out in fullness the Kingdom of God which we profess to believe is 'already but not yet' in our world. Exhibiting that love for enemies, neighbors, and self is part of that very real 'already'. I hope we get there someday!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
I'm Getting a Ro - of!
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! They started on it today!! And, is it weird?!
I wasn't aware that they were going to start on it today. Went over there to meet an electrician, since some frayed conduit was found in the attic. He was already in the house checking things out. Really freaked me out! Of course, I was surprised to see people climbing on the roof and hammering and all, but expected people to be on the outside of the house doing that.
Intellectually, I'd realized that all anyone would have to do to break into my broken house was pull off the blue roof and climb in through the hole. What I didn't realize was the effect it would have on me to have someone actually do it, even if it was in the interest of repairing the hole and making that impossible. The whole tree through the house thing has been a bit surreal, and this just emphasized it. It wasn't quite a violated feeling (like someone actually breaking in when the house was intact), but it was definitely uncomfortable. Maybe it had something to do with me not being in control of who entered my home. *shiver* I'll be glad when that part of the repair's finished!
It's also odd how I'm feeling about actually having the roof repaired. *shrug* I guess I'd gotten used to coming by the house and looking up through the mangled rafters to see (and hear) a sea of blue. Maybe that hole and blue tarp were the 'realities' of surviving the storm, and when they're gone the visible symbols will make the hurricane even less real. I wasn't here when the storm came through - a good thing - and I would have left even if I'd been in the state when the storm headed this way.
But I find myself looking for the damage as I drive around town, as if to confirm for myself that the devastation of the storm really happened. I've got family coming in for Christmas, who've only seen pictures of the damage, and that just of my house and the church. Somehow I want to be able to 'prove' to them that we had a real catastrophe here, and the piles of debris and blue roofs and mangled metal were part of that proof.
Don't get me wrong! I'm glad that things are beginning to be cleaned up and repaired! And, no matter what, all those missing trees will be a reminder that something happened around here of major proportion. It's part of the process of healing, I think. No matter how you describe it to someone, or even show them pictures, there is no way they can truly understand what it is you've experienced. There is a vast difference between a picture, which can only show a small portion of the damage and even that not in perspective, and the actual physical walking through to see the twisted rafters mingled with shingles and flashing and broken tree limbs and the water on the floor with pictures and knick-knacks sitting right in the midst of it all and completely untouched. There's an emptiness which just can't be put into words. It can only be experienced.
*sigh* Maybe I'll find the words someday, but I doubt it. I may find the words that satisfy me, but I'm not sure anyone who hasn't been through a similar experience will be able to 'get it'.
Ah, well! I'm getting a ro-of!! WOOHOO!! And on that note, I'm going to just smile for a while and bring this to an end!
I wasn't aware that they were going to start on it today. Went over there to meet an electrician, since some frayed conduit was found in the attic. He was already in the house checking things out. Really freaked me out! Of course, I was surprised to see people climbing on the roof and hammering and all, but expected people to be on the outside of the house doing that.
Intellectually, I'd realized that all anyone would have to do to break into my broken house was pull off the blue roof and climb in through the hole. What I didn't realize was the effect it would have on me to have someone actually do it, even if it was in the interest of repairing the hole and making that impossible. The whole tree through the house thing has been a bit surreal, and this just emphasized it. It wasn't quite a violated feeling (like someone actually breaking in when the house was intact), but it was definitely uncomfortable. Maybe it had something to do with me not being in control of who entered my home. *shiver* I'll be glad when that part of the repair's finished!
It's also odd how I'm feeling about actually having the roof repaired. *shrug* I guess I'd gotten used to coming by the house and looking up through the mangled rafters to see (and hear) a sea of blue. Maybe that hole and blue tarp were the 'realities' of surviving the storm, and when they're gone the visible symbols will make the hurricane even less real. I wasn't here when the storm came through - a good thing - and I would have left even if I'd been in the state when the storm headed this way.
But I find myself looking for the damage as I drive around town, as if to confirm for myself that the devastation of the storm really happened. I've got family coming in for Christmas, who've only seen pictures of the damage, and that just of my house and the church. Somehow I want to be able to 'prove' to them that we had a real catastrophe here, and the piles of debris and blue roofs and mangled metal were part of that proof.
Don't get me wrong! I'm glad that things are beginning to be cleaned up and repaired! And, no matter what, all those missing trees will be a reminder that something happened around here of major proportion. It's part of the process of healing, I think. No matter how you describe it to someone, or even show them pictures, there is no way they can truly understand what it is you've experienced. There is a vast difference between a picture, which can only show a small portion of the damage and even that not in perspective, and the actual physical walking through to see the twisted rafters mingled with shingles and flashing and broken tree limbs and the water on the floor with pictures and knick-knacks sitting right in the midst of it all and completely untouched. There's an emptiness which just can't be put into words. It can only be experienced.
*sigh* Maybe I'll find the words someday, but I doubt it. I may find the words that satisfy me, but I'm not sure anyone who hasn't been through a similar experience will be able to 'get it'.
Ah, well! I'm getting a ro-of!! WOOHOO!! And on that note, I'm going to just smile for a while and bring this to an end!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
My Poor Dog
My poor dog! The storm came through this afternoon and I thought she was going to shake herself apart. She's never been particularly thrilled with thunderstorms, but after Rita, it's even harder on her. The power outage was what did her in. Of course, she had to stick her nose and paws out the door, hear the thunder, and then zip back into the house. Now she's flaked out on the floor, recovering from the storm. *smile*
My original gameplan for the day was to create the script for the cantata. I was going to do some reading last night, then put it together today. WRONG! The weather flip-flops did a major number on my sinuses and I ended up sleeping most of last night and today away. At least I feel better now. The medicine helped too.
I absolute MUST complete the script before Friday, though, so I can give copies to my readers. This do-it-yourself cantata idea was a good one at the time, but now............ *sigh* We are at least introducing the congregation to some 'new' Christmas music which they probably haven't heard before, and it's mostly music that the choir can pick up fairly easily. To make this tie together as a cantata, I'm going to tie the pieces to scriptures associated with the Christmas story and their history or the intent of their composers, at any rate, something about the particular songs. I'll probably do this tomorrow. The brain's not quite there yet.
Tomorrow afternoon I'll be at the 2 meetings related to the Southeast Texas Interfaith Disaster Recovery Organization. I hope that we're able to begin to actually accomplish something. There's something important to me about getting an ecumenical ministry up and running in the area. This could be a step toward breaking down barriers in the community. We are all in this disaster recovery process together, even if our approaches may be different. There are so many people who need assistance and too few resources to help. We've got quite a task ahead of us, identifying those who don't have resources, connecting them with volunteers and resources, and helping the community as a whole to become what is possible for the future.
Well, I'm going to sign-off and hope tomorrow goes more like I have planned than today did. *chuckle* Probably not, but one can hope!
My original gameplan for the day was to create the script for the cantata. I was going to do some reading last night, then put it together today. WRONG! The weather flip-flops did a major number on my sinuses and I ended up sleeping most of last night and today away. At least I feel better now. The medicine helped too.
I absolute MUST complete the script before Friday, though, so I can give copies to my readers. This do-it-yourself cantata idea was a good one at the time, but now............ *sigh* We are at least introducing the congregation to some 'new' Christmas music which they probably haven't heard before, and it's mostly music that the choir can pick up fairly easily. To make this tie together as a cantata, I'm going to tie the pieces to scriptures associated with the Christmas story and their history or the intent of their composers, at any rate, something about the particular songs. I'll probably do this tomorrow. The brain's not quite there yet.
Tomorrow afternoon I'll be at the 2 meetings related to the Southeast Texas Interfaith Disaster Recovery Organization. I hope that we're able to begin to actually accomplish something. There's something important to me about getting an ecumenical ministry up and running in the area. This could be a step toward breaking down barriers in the community. We are all in this disaster recovery process together, even if our approaches may be different. There are so many people who need assistance and too few resources to help. We've got quite a task ahead of us, identifying those who don't have resources, connecting them with volunteers and resources, and helping the community as a whole to become what is possible for the future.
Well, I'm going to sign-off and hope tomorrow goes more like I have planned than today did. *chuckle* Probably not, but one can hope!
Saturday, November 26, 2005
This n That
Oh, well! I knew going into this that I'd probably keep it up for a while then wander off. I'm terrible at journaling, so why did I think I'd remember to post anything? That's what experiments are for, though, to learn something.
Perhaps part of the problem was that I've been displaced and travelling between Houston and Beaumont. That drive sure gets old quickly!! And was I grateful when the opportunity of a place to stay in town opened up? You betcha!! It's not 'home' but at least I'm not spending so much time and gas on interstate 10.
It's amazing how disorienting things have been. Advent is just on our doorsteps and yet it still feels like August/September. And it's not just the fairly warm weather that accounts for the time slippage. We decorated the sanctuary last Sunday and it felt surreal. There was a part of me that wanted to put the boxes back in the basement and another part of me that hoped the decorating would somehow 'ground' me at the proper time and place. I'm not sure it worked. At least I'm a little more aware of the 'when' I'm in. The where may take some doing - and may not happen until I finally get back in my own home. Still not sure when that'll happen, but probably sometime before the end of this century (I hope).
A friend emailed a wonderful Christmas Light Show, which was a spirit lifter. Some person with way too much time on their hands had set up their Christmas lights to 'dance' along with some music. The synchronized light show is a hoot! I decided to save it, so I can come back to it later as the spirit moves me. *smile* A three-minute pick-me-up - what a wonderful blessing!! I don't think I'm going to do much decorating of my own this year, so it's good to have something to fall back on.
Thanksgiving was really nice. I had a wonderful meal with some of my church family and then we played a dice game called 10,000 (I think that's its name). Simple fun - just what the doctor ordered! AFterward I went back to the home I'm house-sitting in while waiting the repair of my own home. The dog was happy to see me and, for once, decided snuggling was in order. That is, until I made the mistake of moving my feet. She just plain hates feet! We're both semi-settled in here, but you can tell she's not quite adapted. Anytime I leave the house, she wants to go with me. I think she's hoping I'll take her to our familiar place. We've been there - and it's not familiar - so she wanders around with a puzzled look on her face. I have this feeling it looks a lot like my own.
The other day I was driving in to the office and noticed several houses with neatly manicured yards and no visible blue roofing. I found myself feeling quite angry with their owners for having things already back in place while my life was a disheveled mess. It didn't seem fair that they didn't at least have a pile of limbs waiting at the curb for pickup. My secretary wondered if I'd been participating in "drive by cursings". *chuckle* Of course, I had to say Yes!
*sigh* Guess I'd better call it quits for right now. Maybe I'll post again soon........then again, maybe not. I'll probably wait until I have something of insignificance to say. *smile* Later!
Perhaps part of the problem was that I've been displaced and travelling between Houston and Beaumont. That drive sure gets old quickly!! And was I grateful when the opportunity of a place to stay in town opened up? You betcha!! It's not 'home' but at least I'm not spending so much time and gas on interstate 10.
It's amazing how disorienting things have been. Advent is just on our doorsteps and yet it still feels like August/September. And it's not just the fairly warm weather that accounts for the time slippage. We decorated the sanctuary last Sunday and it felt surreal. There was a part of me that wanted to put the boxes back in the basement and another part of me that hoped the decorating would somehow 'ground' me at the proper time and place. I'm not sure it worked. At least I'm a little more aware of the 'when' I'm in. The where may take some doing - and may not happen until I finally get back in my own home. Still not sure when that'll happen, but probably sometime before the end of this century (I hope).
A friend emailed a wonderful Christmas Light Show, which was a spirit lifter. Some person with way too much time on their hands had set up their Christmas lights to 'dance' along with some music. The synchronized light show is a hoot! I decided to save it, so I can come back to it later as the spirit moves me. *smile* A three-minute pick-me-up - what a wonderful blessing!! I don't think I'm going to do much decorating of my own this year, so it's good to have something to fall back on.
Thanksgiving was really nice. I had a wonderful meal with some of my church family and then we played a dice game called 10,000 (I think that's its name). Simple fun - just what the doctor ordered! AFterward I went back to the home I'm house-sitting in while waiting the repair of my own home. The dog was happy to see me and, for once, decided snuggling was in order. That is, until I made the mistake of moving my feet. She just plain hates feet! We're both semi-settled in here, but you can tell she's not quite adapted. Anytime I leave the house, she wants to go with me. I think she's hoping I'll take her to our familiar place. We've been there - and it's not familiar - so she wanders around with a puzzled look on her face. I have this feeling it looks a lot like my own.
The other day I was driving in to the office and noticed several houses with neatly manicured yards and no visible blue roofing. I found myself feeling quite angry with their owners for having things already back in place while my life was a disheveled mess. It didn't seem fair that they didn't at least have a pile of limbs waiting at the curb for pickup. My secretary wondered if I'd been participating in "drive by cursings". *chuckle* Of course, I had to say Yes!
*sigh* Guess I'd better call it quits for right now. Maybe I'll post again soon........then again, maybe not. I'll probably wait until I have something of insignificance to say. *smile* Later!
Friday, October 21, 2005
A long week
Well, it's been over a week now and I'm finally treeless. That is, my roof is finally treeless, and I've joined the sea of blue roofs. Who knows how long it'll be before I'm able to really live in Beaumont again?
Access to the internet will definitely be part of the equation. I stayed at a member's home and no sooner had I gotten there, but her computer was fried. *shrug* I'm your basic jinx around other people's computers. I can walk into a room and they begin to act weird! Magnetic personality? Perhaps!
It's frustrating to see the additional damage to the church that's showing up now. Flat roofs just plain are horrible for letting the water get into the works, and the water's been worming its way down the walls. My nose isn't the least bit happy about the mildew and moldy stuff growing, either! Bleah! Achoo!
But enough about buildings - the important part of my week has been spent with people! Good people! Wonderful conversations! Brain work which let me take a break from "tree stories". And all that brainwork has temporarily worn me out, so I'm headed off to bed shortly. zzzzzzz!
More later - I just didn't want to let this experiment die an early death! *chuckle* G'night!
Access to the internet will definitely be part of the equation. I stayed at a member's home and no sooner had I gotten there, but her computer was fried. *shrug* I'm your basic jinx around other people's computers. I can walk into a room and they begin to act weird! Magnetic personality? Perhaps!
It's frustrating to see the additional damage to the church that's showing up now. Flat roofs just plain are horrible for letting the water get into the works, and the water's been worming its way down the walls. My nose isn't the least bit happy about the mildew and moldy stuff growing, either! Bleah! Achoo!
But enough about buildings - the important part of my week has been spent with people! Good people! Wonderful conversations! Brain work which let me take a break from "tree stories". And all that brainwork has temporarily worn me out, so I'm headed off to bed shortly. zzzzzzz!
More later - I just didn't want to let this experiment die an early death! *chuckle* G'night!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Current State of the Aftermath
At the moment, I'm alive, in a safe place, will someday have an intact roof to go home to, and (unlike way too many people in this area at this time) have an income I can count on. In terms of the emotional, foggy is a good way to describe it. As one of my members said when I mentioned something about only keeping up w/one thing at a time right now, "you're not ready for multi-tasking just yet!"
I've a wonderful congregation and staff (my secretary's a pastor's dream!). After the ice storm in Idabel, there was never the support and caring for each other that this congregation is expressing. It's a real blessing!
Finally met w/my insurance adjuster yesterday. I'm getting a whole brand new roof (the previous owners put a composition roof over wood shingles and the insurance company requires that repairs be done on something permanent - like plywood, not shingles), so I'm going to get to put a lighter colored roof on to save on electric bills. We've got to replace 5-6 rafters (maybe a couple more) from where the tree went in, and all the insulation in at least the main living part of the house (which was something I wanted to do someday anyway). The carpet in my den (which was completely soaked) and the carpet in my living room (which was partially wet) are being completely replaced, so now I get to pick the carpet for the main living areas. The ceiling in my bathroom has to be replaced, which will ruin the wallpaper in that bathroom, so it has to be replaced, which is wonderful because I absolutely hated that wallpaper! And the metal awning over my patio has to be replaced because it has a bunch of dents you can't see from the ground, which is good because it really looked like it was time to replace it when I bought the place (kinda musty/moldy looking but in good shape otherwise at the time). In fact, the only thing that has to be done which isn't completely to my liking is my sofabed and love seat are ruined and I have to replace them. *moan*
It's hard to say when I'll be able to get all this done, but I'm hoping it'll be by Thanksgiving. I finally have my electricity back on. They got that connected up on Monday. The rest of the street has water, but mine got turned off sometime after the storm. I'm waiting to connect up w/the water dept people and find out what the problem is. One of my members thinks that while they were picking up debris in the neighborhood, one of the trucks went over my meter and may have damaged the box or nearby line. I'm hoping it's that instead of some other damage in the house.
As to when I'll be able to do any living in it ........ shrug. We've got to get rid of that moldy insulation and sheetrock before I can stay there w/out my sinuses complaining. Once that's done, I can stay in the rest of the house. It's in good shape. It'll be a couple more weeks at least before I have telephone and internet and I really need access to the internet! I'll probably be staying part time w/members and then coming back to Mom's for a while. Alternative housing in the Beaumont area is quite scarce right now, what with all the disaster relief and repair people in town. One of my members who's in kind of the same pickle I am, but worse, could only get an apartment as near as Liberty (about 1 hour's drive away), so I might as well stay at Mom's which is about 1 1/2 hours away when I need the internet. Doesn't look like the church's internet will be back up before the end of the month, either, so that's not an option.
This has been quite an experience! It's truly had its uplifiting moments and its downers. And some real good has come out of it as well. I'm still learning about my members' journeys. *smile* This would be several hours long if I wrote of all the good things! But we've a called presbytery meeting today to set up an administrative commission to deal w/disaster relief and I've got to get dressed and leave in an hour!
I've a wonderful congregation and staff (my secretary's a pastor's dream!). After the ice storm in Idabel, there was never the support and caring for each other that this congregation is expressing. It's a real blessing!
Finally met w/my insurance adjuster yesterday. I'm getting a whole brand new roof (the previous owners put a composition roof over wood shingles and the insurance company requires that repairs be done on something permanent - like plywood, not shingles), so I'm going to get to put a lighter colored roof on to save on electric bills. We've got to replace 5-6 rafters (maybe a couple more) from where the tree went in, and all the insulation in at least the main living part of the house (which was something I wanted to do someday anyway). The carpet in my den (which was completely soaked) and the carpet in my living room (which was partially wet) are being completely replaced, so now I get to pick the carpet for the main living areas. The ceiling in my bathroom has to be replaced, which will ruin the wallpaper in that bathroom, so it has to be replaced, which is wonderful because I absolutely hated that wallpaper! And the metal awning over my patio has to be replaced because it has a bunch of dents you can't see from the ground, which is good because it really looked like it was time to replace it when I bought the place (kinda musty/moldy looking but in good shape otherwise at the time). In fact, the only thing that has to be done which isn't completely to my liking is my sofabed and love seat are ruined and I have to replace them. *moan*
It's hard to say when I'll be able to get all this done, but I'm hoping it'll be by Thanksgiving. I finally have my electricity back on. They got that connected up on Monday. The rest of the street has water, but mine got turned off sometime after the storm. I'm waiting to connect up w/the water dept people and find out what the problem is. One of my members thinks that while they were picking up debris in the neighborhood, one of the trucks went over my meter and may have damaged the box or nearby line. I'm hoping it's that instead of some other damage in the house.
As to when I'll be able to do any living in it ........ shrug. We've got to get rid of that moldy insulation and sheetrock before I can stay there w/out my sinuses complaining. Once that's done, I can stay in the rest of the house. It's in good shape. It'll be a couple more weeks at least before I have telephone and internet and I really need access to the internet! I'll probably be staying part time w/members and then coming back to Mom's for a while. Alternative housing in the Beaumont area is quite scarce right now, what with all the disaster relief and repair people in town. One of my members who's in kind of the same pickle I am, but worse, could only get an apartment as near as Liberty (about 1 hour's drive away), so I might as well stay at Mom's which is about 1 1/2 hours away when I need the internet. Doesn't look like the church's internet will be back up before the end of the month, either, so that's not an option.
This has been quite an experience! It's truly had its uplifiting moments and its downers. And some real good has come out of it as well. I'm still learning about my members' journeys. *smile* This would be several hours long if I wrote of all the good things! But we've a called presbytery meeting today to set up an administrative commission to deal w/disaster relief and I've got to get dressed and leave in an hour!
Monday, October 10, 2005
To Be ... or Not To Be ... in Beaumont
Yesterday and today were truly interesting when compared to each other. We had a wonderful worship service filled with some truly inspiring stories of the events that have happened in people's lives over the past 2 1/2 weeks. Some people had stereotypes about different racial/ethnic groups busted to smithereens. Some had incredible stories of their evacuation to share. Some told of the blessings of friends and strangers. Some noted that events conspired to bring about unexpected results. There were hugs andtears and concern and laughter and prayers.
I have had about 5 offers of places to stay while my house is being restored to usable status, and with more of my members returning to the area, I feel the need to be in the community and available. It's truly awesome!
Today I spent trying to make contact with the insurance adjuster ..... again! I think I've finally managed to get through enough layers of supervisors to make and impact, I hope. i'm supposed to meet w/the guy tomorrow. Hope he shows this time!
In the meantime, a group of church members from Houston came to help clean up my remaining monster trees and pull the soggy carpeting out of my house so it won't be in worse shape. A major blessing! I couldn't have done it by myself.
And I caught up with some members I hadn't heard from. They are safe and doing ok, even though their homes have suffered some damage. What a relief! One member who's back in Beaumont told me to stay where I am and not return yet. "Stay where you have electricity and groceries, it's much safer than here right now." For the moment, I'll probably continue to do a bit of commuting, but those darned gas prices will probably put the kibosh in that real soon!
*sigh* I'm so ready for normal!
I have had about 5 offers of places to stay while my house is being restored to usable status, and with more of my members returning to the area, I feel the need to be in the community and available. It's truly awesome!
Today I spent trying to make contact with the insurance adjuster ..... again! I think I've finally managed to get through enough layers of supervisors to make and impact, I hope. i'm supposed to meet w/the guy tomorrow. Hope he shows this time!
In the meantime, a group of church members from Houston came to help clean up my remaining monster trees and pull the soggy carpeting out of my house so it won't be in worse shape. A major blessing! I couldn't have done it by myself.
And I caught up with some members I hadn't heard from. They are safe and doing ok, even though their homes have suffered some damage. What a relief! One member who's back in Beaumont told me to stay where I am and not return yet. "Stay where you have electricity and groceries, it's much safer than here right now." For the moment, I'll probably continue to do a bit of commuting, but those darned gas prices will probably put the kibosh in that real soon!
*sigh* I'm so ready for normal!
Friday, October 07, 2005
Flat
Flat. It's odd, but that's how I feel - flat. No highs.........no lows.........just flat. The rational part of me knows that that's a normal feeling. It's part of the process of dealing with change. It's also a way of hiding from reality, at least a little bit.
I recall a time from my 'previous life' when I felt flat, wrapped in cotton, insulated from real feelings. I don't want to head back in that direction, but it seems I'm kind of stuck here at the moment. Maybe it has something to do with being in limbo, not knowing when I'll be able to return home. It's safer to be 'flat' than it is to actually feel at the moment.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.............limbo. Wonder why we use that term for those times when we don't know what's happening next. It doesn't quite fit w/the image of trying to weasel one's way under a pole to stay in a game. Maybe it has to do w/being flexible, and one really has to be flexible at a time like this. But when I think of being in limbo, I think of being in a gray, foggy place w/no landmarks or cues to point in any particular direction. Yeah - flat! I think of limbo as being flat.
I think I'm just going stay w/being flat for a while, until I get tired of it. Somehow I don't imagine it'll be a long-term thing. For one thing, it's boring. Being bored is ok for the short term, but long-term? Nah! You miss out on too much! But for right now, it's ok to be flat, and I'm just going to accept that.
I recall a time from my 'previous life' when I felt flat, wrapped in cotton, insulated from real feelings. I don't want to head back in that direction, but it seems I'm kind of stuck here at the moment. Maybe it has something to do with being in limbo, not knowing when I'll be able to return home. It's safer to be 'flat' than it is to actually feel at the moment.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.............limbo. Wonder why we use that term for those times when we don't know what's happening next. It doesn't quite fit w/the image of trying to weasel one's way under a pole to stay in a game. Maybe it has to do w/being flexible, and one really has to be flexible at a time like this. But when I think of being in limbo, I think of being in a gray, foggy place w/no landmarks or cues to point in any particular direction. Yeah - flat! I think of limbo as being flat.
I think I'm just going stay w/being flat for a while, until I get tired of it. Somehow I don't imagine it'll be a long-term thing. For one thing, it's boring. Being bored is ok for the short term, but long-term? Nah! You miss out on too much! But for right now, it's ok to be flat, and I'm just going to accept that.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Show Me the Way to Go Home! I'm Tired
Time seems to pass so weirdly right now. Has it really been only been almost 2 weeks since the hurricane hit the Texas coast? It's hard to keep up with what day of the week it is, much less what the date is. If I weren't looking at a calendar right now, I'd still think we were in September!
I'm in a safe place and have an intact roof over my head, utilities, and food to eat........but it's not home. I've been in similar situations before - not knowing when I'd be in my own place, or even where that place would be. There's something different about this time, though. Maybe it's knowing that home is so close by, yet not liveable at the moment, and not knowing when it will be.
A young friend of mine said she can't wait to get back home - to see her friends, and even her enemies! I know what she means. There is comfort in having the familiar to surround us. The initial excitement of change is invigorating at first. But then loss kicks in.
I knew that the tree went through my roof as soon as the FEMA guy said I had a tree on my house. Yet the loss wasn't real until I actually saw it. And then, there was the amazement of things untouched by the weight of the storm. Within the same room, furniture and floor were soaked, but precious pictures were left untouched. The ceiling light is hanging by a wire, but the ceiling fan in the same room is secure against the plaster. In many ways, I'm blessed.
If the storm had happened at a different time, my PsychoKat would have been at the house alone as the storm sent a tree crashing through the house. She's already a bit deranged as it is from being in a house alone while an ice storm pierced my house with a falling limb. I'm not sure what she would have been like after a hurricane alone. Instead she was at the home of a friend in Houston, kept safe from the worst of the storm. My dog was with my Mom and they slept through the edges of Rita after giving up on evacuating from Houston. I was stuck in California, trying to get back home and watching the brainiac newscasters holding onto their hats and mikes as they reported on the storm (and encouraged by the lights still on in the Beaumont library for so long!).
So, now, I wait. Wait for insurance adjusters to get their act together. Wait for electricity to be restored. Wait for repairs to be begun. Wait to sleep in my own bed in my own house in a place where my friends and enemies are present and accounted for. Wait for life to again return to the ebb and flow of something resembling a normal pattern (whatever that might be, I'm not sure! normally abnormal, then?). And maybe, just maybe, I'll learn a little bit in the meantime - about myself, about my friends, about my community, about life!
I'm in a safe place and have an intact roof over my head, utilities, and food to eat........but it's not home. I've been in similar situations before - not knowing when I'd be in my own place, or even where that place would be. There's something different about this time, though. Maybe it's knowing that home is so close by, yet not liveable at the moment, and not knowing when it will be.
A young friend of mine said she can't wait to get back home - to see her friends, and even her enemies! I know what she means. There is comfort in having the familiar to surround us. The initial excitement of change is invigorating at first. But then loss kicks in.
I knew that the tree went through my roof as soon as the FEMA guy said I had a tree on my house. Yet the loss wasn't real until I actually saw it. And then, there was the amazement of things untouched by the weight of the storm. Within the same room, furniture and floor were soaked, but precious pictures were left untouched. The ceiling light is hanging by a wire, but the ceiling fan in the same room is secure against the plaster. In many ways, I'm blessed.
If the storm had happened at a different time, my PsychoKat would have been at the house alone as the storm sent a tree crashing through the house. She's already a bit deranged as it is from being in a house alone while an ice storm pierced my house with a falling limb. I'm not sure what she would have been like after a hurricane alone. Instead she was at the home of a friend in Houston, kept safe from the worst of the storm. My dog was with my Mom and they slept through the edges of Rita after giving up on evacuating from Houston. I was stuck in California, trying to get back home and watching the brainiac newscasters holding onto their hats and mikes as they reported on the storm (and encouraged by the lights still on in the Beaumont library for so long!).
So, now, I wait. Wait for insurance adjusters to get their act together. Wait for electricity to be restored. Wait for repairs to be begun. Wait to sleep in my own bed in my own house in a place where my friends and enemies are present and accounted for. Wait for life to again return to the ebb and flow of something resembling a normal pattern (whatever that might be, I'm not sure! normally abnormal, then?). And maybe, just maybe, I'll learn a little bit in the meantime - about myself, about my friends, about my community, about life!
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