Saturday, August 26, 2006

Anniversary of a Disaster

Good grief! It's been a whole week since I've posted here. Really didn't mean to let things slip by, but it's been a busy and intense week. "Shelter from the Storm" planning has kicked into high gear, with the anniversary of Her Horribleness being only a few weeks away. Fair warning - I'll probably only be posting here sporadically until after September 24th.

Besides preparing for this special commemoration, I've become aware of some 'anniversary reactions' happening as well. No, not directly connected with Rita stuff, although that's mulling around in the mix too. Labor Day weekend continues to be an anniversary date for me even 20 years down the road from the event. It's usually in hindsight a week or so after Labor Day that I realize what's been happening to me, so there's at least some progress being made this year! Maybe it's because I've been reading about disaster anniversary reactions in conjunction with preparation for the anniversary of Rita (yes, I really do have to recognize that we're coming up on one year after, and I truly can say that name if I have to.).

One of my biggest anniversary reactions has always been that I feel numb, wrapped up in cotton and completely unable to feel anything. Along with that comes difficulty in processing information. For example, it usually takes me 10-15 minutes to work the end of the week crosswords. Around anniversary time, the clues almost become incomprehensible letters on the page and I have to scrounge the internet for answers to things I usually know without thinking.

The good news is that, as time has gone by, the intensity has weakened. I figure the same will hold true for recovery from Her Horribleness. And even that may lessen quicker once I get back into my home (anticipated return date? Sometime before the beginning of the next millennium. *sigh*). It was encouraging to read that what I have been experiencing is not to be unexpected in this still abnormal situation.

The reality is that I have not truly mourned yet. I've been really good at distracting myself with the all too real and necessary business of putting things back together, helping others (it is part of the job description, you know), and working on addressing the communal needs I see (at some level part of the job description, at another an expression of frustration and anger - actually a "normal" part of the recovery process).

Working our way closer to this particular anniversary, I'm beginning to realize that I need to take care of myself, as well. Okay! Okay! I know! You've been telling me that for months now, and I've been nodding my head and saying, "Once 'x' is done, I'll _________ (fill in the blank - take a vacation, talk to a counselor, get a massage ...)". Problem is - I keep changing what 'x' will identify my capitulation point.

Please don't give up on me! I promise I'll get there and actually do something! Anniversaries of difficult situations are simultaneously the pits and the impetus, and not just for me. Maybe we oughta plan a group hug at our worship service? hmmmmmmm..... probably not a physical one, but we'll certainly aspire to a spiritual one, and that may be the best thing for both our recovering community and me.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Blessings

This week has had its fair share of frustrations, starting with a hard-drive crash and faulty reinstall. BLEAH!! I still don't have everything back on the beast, but obviously I'm at least back in action and online.

But this post isn't about the frustrations. It's about the blessings I've experienced this week, and there've been several that have come at moments when crawling into a hole and pulling it in after me was looking like a really good idea.

I've been working on a project which has had sort of a fluid and open membership on the planning committee. I don't have a problem with that. The flow of ideas has been truly enlightening and often helpful. However, we're getting down to decision-making time and the meeting scheduled for this week looked to be .... well .... complex might be a good word to describe it. On the meeting day, one of my members showed up to be 'moral support' as we wound our way through the issues. Afterwards, we had lunch together. What a blessing!!

I am also blessed with a truly wonderful Office Administrator. On Friday, while grousing about a comment made at another meeting I attended, she was able to identify the source of my perplexity and frustration. We're a good team, bouncing ideas off of each other and helping each other to complete our tasks better, while helping each other maintain our sanity (a necessity in this day and age).

The worship service for the anniversary of Her Horribleness' visit to Southeast Texas is beginning to fall into place! What a blessing to work with colleagues who share a vision of what this worship experience might be and how we might draw our community together!

Then I received a phone call from one of our youth members who has been out of town and was visiting for the day. What a blessing to have some time to visit and scarf down desserts! My heart was truly lightened and my spirits lifted.

As I was heading to meet over dessert, I received a phone call from another member inviting me to dinner and an evening listening to area choirs at St. Pius. Good company, wonderful food, excellent music (and an opportunity to locate some groups who we can invite to the 9/24 worship service, but that wasn't the intent of the evening). Blessings!

This was followed by a rather rousing game of 10,000. Well, games - we played for a couple of hours. My team won 8 games straight, even when I tried to lose so the other team could win. *chuckle* The other team claimed it was my partner's revenge for the skunking they gave him the night before. Who knows? But the evening was a good one, filled with fun.

Yep ... in the grand scheme of things, it's been a good week. Thanks for reminding me of who's in charge, God! Blessings upon blessings upon blessings!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Planetary Configurations

Oh, my! Have you looked at the front page of the Houston Chronicle today? Three ... count them! ... THREE!! new planets have been officially attached to our solar system. Don't know if this 'old dog' will be able to adjust the the new tricks on this one. *chuckle*

"Mother Very Thoughtfully Made a Jelly Sandwich Under No Protest" Well, there did come a point where my mom protested, and I'm not sure that making jelly sandwiches (yuck! what happened to the peanut butter?!) ever called for much thought. However, Mercury Venus Terra (and you thought it was called Earth?) Mars a (those assorted asteroids that wander around out there) Jupiter Saturn Uranus Neptune Pluto were much easier to put in the right order with that sentence around.

Way too many years have been spent under the influence of that mnemonic to be able to deal with a new one adding three new ones. Besides, adding Ceres where the letter "a" was just plain messes up the whole scheme!

Crossword puzzlers of the future will have a whole new clue to have to deal with once we've gotten used to the fact that the answer to "planets in the solar system" is twelve, not nine.

I'm curious, though. We've added a new one with the oddball name of 2003 UB313. I realize that this is a 'place holder' name until it's officially named. What I want to know is - will they be having a contest to name the critter? Or will it go to the highest bidder? Will we soon be adding Verizon or AOL or Google to our list of planets?

Please please PLEASE, members of the International Astronomical Union, I implore you. Don't let corporate greed get the better of you as you attempt to fund research for the future. Keep the poetry of your souls pure by naming poor 2003 UB something appropriately ethereal and classic and in keeping with the making of rubrics for us poor memory-impaired planet-bound peons.

hmmmmmmmmm...... Let's see. Mother Very Thoughtfully Made Countless Jelly Sandwiches Under No Protest, Carefully ________________. Any suggestions?

Monday, August 14, 2006

Holy Hilarity

A new minister is invited by two parishioners to go fishing. They're already out on the lake when one of the old-timers says, "Oh, I forgot my flies." The other old-timer groans, "just as I get started and the fish are biting." The new minister says, "Don't worry, I'll get them," steps out of the boat and walks across the water. "Look at that," says one old-timer to the other, "doesn't even know how to swim."

That was my joke to 'pass along' from Holy Hilarity Sunday. If you've read it, mission accomplished!

There are all sorts of reasons that I enjoy particular Sundays - celebrating the Lord's Supper or a Baptism or new members, Easter Sunday!!, the Sunday we sing our Christmas cantata, the annual Hymn Sing, and so on. One of the blessings of this congregation I serve is that they have been willing to try something a bit different - Holy Hilarity Sunday. I guess you might say they've humored me (pun not truly intended!), but there are definitely those who are fed by this Sunday filled with whimsey, me included.

I'm not completely sure where I first heard of Holy Hilarity (or Holy Humor or Bright Sunday), but the concept intrigued me: a Sunday celebrating God's "practical joke on the devil of raising Jesus from the dead". (from The Fellowship of Merry Christians on the celebration) Centuries ago it was originally celebrated on the Sunday after Easter. We take a humorous detour during the summer.

That doesn't mean we don't occasionally take a humorous detour during worship at other times. It just generally isn't as intentional then. I have been known to occasionally 'drink this bread and eat this cup' during Communion!

This Sunday, we reveled in one-liners; light-hearted hymns to old favorites like Pop! Goes the Weasel, She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain, and Good Night, Ladies; jokes shared; and a "Who's on First?"-type dialog about Mary and Martha. Our Youth led the congregation in energizers. Yes, we, the "Frozen Chosen", actually did get up and move during worship!

And now - a prescription from "Dr. Jesus the Christ":
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

Please be aware that "Substitution is permitted" and that this particular prescription can be renewed "as needed".

I'm reasonably sure that Jesus laughed. I'd be mighty upset if he didn't!

Friday, August 11, 2006

What a Week!

This has been a week which has laid heavy on my heart and soul. Oh! There's been some good stuff too. I won't deny that. However, it's been one of those times when the path forward hasn't been particularly direct.

Unless you've had your head in the sand, this week's worldly news has led to vehement discussions in the online forums I wander through. You know, sometimes we Presbys get pretty het up over the ordination of homosexuals, and the fur flies in those discussions. But I don't think I've ever seen one of those discussions get quite as vicious as things have been over Israel and Lebannon. *sigh* I simply don't understand people who want to twist what others say, then condemn them for it. I don't know if it's deliberate obtuseness or naive blindness. After a while, the whole thing becomes corrosive and not the least bit helpful toward furthering resolution.

Then came the uncovering of the plot to once again use commercial aircraft to commit mass mayhem and destruction of lives (which is a horror no matter whose lives are involved), and, just as destructive, to cause us to further erode our way of life and freedom in the interest of security. Any innocent lives taken by people who choose to use misinterpreted religious documents to 'validate' violence against others is reprehensible, as is even the planning of such a massacre. I'm very grateful to those in the intelligence community who uncovered the plot and stopped it before it could happen. Yet, if everyone packs their toothpaste in their checked luggage and tosses their soft drink bottles before boarding the plane, in time will we truly be safer? Or will we simply have given up a bit more of what makes us free in order to become more regimented like the ones who give their lives to such a fundamentalist version of Islam? I don't know. What I end up feeling is that I don't want to end up letting them 'win', even if it's only in their own minds.

This weekend I have a funeral to plan for a member of my congregation. He lived a long and full life, and in many respects, the funeral is a celebration of that life. At the same time, he shall be missed by many and balancing those farewells is sometimes like an intricate juggling performance.

Much time and energy have been expended on planning for the anniversary healing event and worship as we come up on the date Her Horribleness roared through the area. It's good work and we've good people working to make it happen. It's just that sometimes it feels as though one must slog through goop to get there. This has been a somewhat goopy week.

So, tonight I took a break and went to see the local stage production of Footloose. The movie is one of my favorite 'pastor movies', and the play was good. Each have their strengths. Over the course of the storyline, the pastor, Shaw Moore, learns something about himself and evolves as a result of his interaction with his daughter Ariel and the young catalyst Ren McCormack. In the play, the focus is on Shaw learning that his holding onto the past and his reaction to his son's untimely death is destroying his relationships with his daughter and his wife. Letting go of the past without forgetting is part of the healing needed for Shaw, his family, and the community.

In the movie, Shaw recognizes an even greater truth: that as a pastor, he is not personally responsible for the spiritual salvation of every person in the community. I absolutely love the scene at Sunday worship where Shaw stands in the pulpit dumbfounded and wrestling with this realization before telling the congregation that he's done them a disservice by not trusting them to grow in faith through their mistakes. He doesn't say he won't be with them as both the members and he himself stumble through life, but he does effectively say that it's time for him to trust God and that he will walk along with them as they begin to take on more responsibility for themselves - an important message for all clergy.

Trust God. You know, I do. Yet I also want to be in control and have everything work exactly as I envision it and get worn down when the world doesn't quite work that way. Don't worry. I'll get back on track soon. I usually do. Besides, it's Holy Hilarity Sunday - and I enjoy Holy Hilarity Sunday!

Plus, my car just turned brand new again - 100,000 miles and still chuggin along! WOOHOO! Guess it hasn't been all that bad a week after all.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Fingers Crossed

I'm sitting here with fingers crossed. Looks like repairs may finally be starting up again on my house. Things are definitely seeming possibly hopeful at any rate. (Does that sound the least bit iffy? I don't want to get too excited by the prospect. Would totally hate to have those hopes dashed! *chuckle*)

A week from tomorrow the a/c guy will be through to do the minor repairs needed because parts of the system had a close encounter of the third kind with my all too friendly tree. About a week after that I should have a drywall guy coming in to hide the visible studs and repair the cracks that were caused by the deflected forces from the tree clobbering the house.

This last one means I have to move into high gear on things like deciding what colors to paint the walls and what kind of carpet, and I get to go furniture shopping finally. Someone told me that this is an opportunity to make the house my own. They're right. Now I've just gotta figure out what that means for me. One thing I do know - it'll be a color other than pink or white.

At the rate things are going, I may actually get to move back into my house about a year since the last time I slept there. On September 19th, 2005, I left Beaumont to attend a meeting in Sacramento, California. When I left town, I didn't even know that there was a tropical storm wallowing around near Florida, and fully expected to be back in my own bed by that Sunday. No such luck!

Ah, well! Wouldn't it be wonderful if the repairs were done a year from the day I first left? We'll see!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Chris! Chris! Go Away!

(No - not you, Chris!)

WOOHOO!! Good sounding news from NOAA after the 6am CDT advisory!

CHRIS IS BECOMING DISORGANIZED IN A HURRY. SATELLITE IMAGES INDICATETHAT THE LOW-LEVEL CENTER HAS BECOME DETACHED FROM THE THUNDERSTORMACTIVITY DUE TO NORTHWESTERLY SHEAR ...

ASSUMING THAT THE ENTIRECIRCULATION HAS NOT BEEN SAMPLED...THE INITIAL INTENSITY ISADJUSTED TO 40 KNOTS... AND THIS IS VERY GENEROUS. I WAS TEMPTEDTO FORECAST WEAKENING AND EVEN DISSIPATION OVER THE NEXT FEWDAYS...BUT THE BEST OPTION AT THIS TIME IS TO KEEP THE CYCLONE ON ASTEADY STATE CONSIDERING THAT THE SHEAR COULD DECREASE...ASSUGGESTED BY THE SHIPS MODEL.

Now, I don't usually expect governmental advisories to have anything 'human-sounding' in them, but that first sentence struck me as kind of funny. Generally I would expect to read something like "Tropical Storm Chris is currrently becoming less organized in structure." You know, a bit more stuffy and, well, British sounding. (with apologies to my British friends)

The forecaster continues:

ACCORDING TO ALL GLOBALMODELS...A STRONG RIDGE IS EXPECTED TO REMAIN ANCHORED TO THE NORTHOF THE TROPICAL CYCLONE. THEREFORE...CHRIS...OR WHATEVER IS LEFT OFTHE SYSTEM...IS FORECAST TO CONTINUE WESTWARD ACROSS THESOUTHEASTERN BAHAMAS...VERY NEAR THE NORTH COAST OF CUBA ANDEVENTUALLY REACH THE SOUTH-CENTRAL GULF OF MEXICO IN FIVE DAYS. THEDILEMMA IS THE FUTURE INTENSITY OF THE CYCLONE. IT COULD WEAKENFURTHER AND DISSIPATE OR COULD REGAIN SOME STRENGTH. I AM IN FAVOROF WEAKENING.

SO AM I!

No matter! I'm just gleefully enjoying something which looks like good news (even if the forecaster decided to be cautiously optimistic instead of overly optimistic). WOOHOO!